Author: Corinne

Movie Madness 2024: Selection Sunday Announcement

It’s hard to believe this will be our FIFTH Movie Madness tournament. Didn’t we just start this thing, like, yesterday?

In case you missed it, in 2020, because the post-season college basketball tournaments were canceled, I thought, “What better way to keep the crazy competitiveness of March alive than with a movie tournament?”

So, I introduced Corinne’s Movie Madness.

Just like the basketball tournaments, we had a field of competitors facing off in one-on-one competitions. You, the Reel Nerds fans, decided which of the two movies in a given matchup advanced to the next round.

Our past four winners are:

  • The Princess Bride, 2020 (Corinne’s Random Movies Bracket)
  • Beauty & The Beast, 2021 (The Nerds’ Favorite Disney/Pixar Movies Bracket)
  • Logan, 2022 (DC vs. Marvel Bracket)
  • Remember The Titans, 2023 (Post-1990 Sports Movie Bracket)

This March, we’re celebrating the Reel Nerds’ favorite movies of the 2020s (so far)!

The competitors and bracket mechanics

A special thank you to Brad for the excellent graphic!

Unlike the NCAA basketball tournaments, this one is very selective. Only 16 films qualify for a coveted spot on the bracket.

Once I decided to do 2020s movies, I reviewed all the Nerds’ Filmsplosion lists from the last four years. Each year would have its own ‘region’ complete with four films — one for each Nerd. My initial thought was to pick each Nerd’s No. 1 film from each year, but I thought we’d get better matchups by expanding it to other films on our lists.

So, I picked one movie from each Nerd’s list from 2020-2023. The movie was either the Nerd’s No. 1 movie of the year OR they were the only person who had it on their list OR they were the Nerd who had it the highest on their list. (I acknowledge that many of these movies ended up on multiple Nerds’ lists in their given Filmsplosion year, for the record.)

Then, I matched everyone up round-robin style based on what I felt would be the best matchups in a given year. I think you’ll understand better once you see the bracket.

Subsequently, we’re not doing “seeds” or rankings for each movie this year. It would’ve complicated things much more than necessary.

How you participate

Just like the college basketball tournament, Movie Madness will start Thursday, March 21!

That day, we will post the first matchup on the Reel Nerds’ Twitter page so you can cast your vote! Simple as that.

For instance, March 21 will feature our first 2020 matchup; whichever movie receives more votes by the time the poll ends will advance to the next round. (If there happens to be a tie, I’ll cast the deciding vote.)

On March 29, we will start the quarterfinals, and the procedure will be the same until a movie is crowned the winner. If I’m counting right, our championship matchup should be on April 4.

Announcing the field

Here is your full field:

  • Thursday, March 21: Let Him Go vs. The Invisible Man. So, we have Ryan’s No. 1 from Filmsplosion 2020 vs. Zach’s No. 1. I haven’t seen either of these films, but according to Ryan, both are very dark and depressing.
  • Friday, March 22: Soul vs. Onward. My No. 2 from Filmsplosion 2020 vs. Brad’s No. 2. A Pixar head-to-head, as both movies got the shaft due to theaters being closed during the pandemic. So, I thought now would be the time to give them some extra love.
  • Saturday, March 23: Dune vs. Spider-Man: No Way Home. My No. 3 from Filmsplosion 2021 vs. Ryan’s No. 1 (and my No. 1 as well, TBF). With Dune: Part 2 in theaters right now, and with Ryan never shutting up about Spider-Man, I thought this would be a fun matchup. Also, Zendaya is in both of these, so that’s neat.
  • Sunday, March 24: The Suicide Squad vs. Last Night in Soho. Brad’s No. 1 from Filmsplosion 2021 vs. Zach’s No. 2. I was tempted to put TSS up against Zach’s No. 1 Belfast, but considering that both James Finger Gunn and Edgar Allan Wright have very active (read: annoying) fanbases, I thought it’d be fun to pit these films against each other.
  • Monday, March 25: The Batman vs. Top Gun: Maverick. Brad’s No. 1 from Filmsplosion 2022 vs. Ryan’s No. 1. These were two of the biggest movies of the year, at least among us Nerds. So, it seemed like a no-brainer to pit them against each other.
  • Tuesday, March 26: Everything Everywhere All At Once vs. Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery. Zach’s No. 1 from Filmsplosion 2022 vs. my No. 3. Glass Onion made like 3-4 Nerds’ lists that year, but I think EEAAO only made mine and Zach’s. However, the latter ended up going on to win a bunch of awards, including the Academy Award for Best Picture. And, with the Oscars just being recently, I know several people were revisiting last year’s speeches amid the EEAAO sweep. So, this felt like an interesting matchup.
  • Wednesday, March 27: Barbie vs. Oppenheimer. My No. 2 from Filmsplosion 2023 vs. Zach’s No. 3. I mean, this is a no-brainer. I wanted to see a Barbenheimer rematch on the Movie Madness stage!!
  • Thursday, March 28: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse vs. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3. Ryan’s No. 1 from Filmsplosion 2023 vs. Brad’s 3. Another superhero head-to-head to round out the first-round matchups.

Thus, on Friday, March 29, we will start the quarterfinals and on April 4, we will host our championship showdown with the final two films.

Which sports movie will take home the 2024 Movie Madness Trophy? Which Cinderella story will take the crown? Which set of underdogs will triumph in the end?

You decide!

Show Time: A Statistical Recap of Filmsplosion 2023

Well, it’s been a few days since Filmsplosion 2023 came out. Have you finished listening to it yet? If not, don’t read the rest of this post, as we’ll be looking at all the Nerds’ Top 10 lists.

So, in putting this together, I basically assigned every movie a scored based on where it was on a Nerd’s list. If it was their #1 film, I gave it 10 points; if #2, 9 points; and so on until our #10 films received 1 point each. If it was one of the eight films that appeared on more than one list, then it has a combined score.

(In case you forgot, I did this for Filmsplosion 2019, 2020, 2021 and 2022.)

Now, we’ll get to which movies had the highest average score, but first, we’ll look at the movies that scored the highest overall.

So, here are the HIGHEST SCORED MOVIES of Filmsplosion 2023:

  1. Barbie – 28 points
  2. Across the Spider-Verse – 19
  3. Bottoms – 18
  4. Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 3 – 16
  5. THREE-WAY TIE – The Boy & The Heron, Killers of the Flower Moon, TMNT: Mutant Mayhem – 10*
Zach picked this movie as his No. 1… for some reason (lol jk. Give Lily Gladstone an Oscar ASAP!!!)

The asterisk denotes that each was #1 on an individual Nerd’s list, thus earning 10 points but only 10 points.

The other movies that appeared on multiple lists but didn’t score more than 10 points were: Evil Dead Rise (9 points), Poor Things and Godzilla Minus One (8 points each), and John Wick 4 (7 points).

Unsurprisingly, if we look at these films’ average scores (total score divided by number of lists it appeared on), the order is a bit different.

THE AVERAGE SCORES for the four highest-scoring movies:

  1. Bottoms – 9 points
  2. Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol 3 – 8
  3. Barbie – 7
  4. Across the Spider-Verse – 6.3

So, while Barbie was the only movie to make all the Nerds’ lists, it still lost out because Ryan sandbagged it so he and Brad could tag-team Guardians at #3 and Bottoms at #2. I see how it is, Ryan. *evil glare*

Now, looking at the 10 highest-grossing movies of 2023, in terms of domestic box office, four of them appeared on multiple lists (Barbie, Spider-Verse, Guardians and John Wick 4) and two of them appeared on just one list (Oppenheimer and Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour). Looking at #11-20 for domestic box office, three more appear in Filmsplosion 2023 (MI:7, The Hunger Games and TMNT).

I didn’t see this movie. Should I have? I’m kinda over the MCU, tbh.

One more thing I wanted to examine is how our selected films break down by genre. How many action movies do we have? How many dramas? Super-hero flicks? etc.

So, for this assessment, I went by each film’s most basic genre. Our choices are: animation, action, comedy, drama, horror and superhero.

I didn’t include Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour, because I didn’t know how to categorize that. A documentary? We have had documentaries in the past, but it’s not a real category this year. Oh well.

By the way, I’m generalizing which category it’s in based on my own experience in either seeing the movie or watching the trailer, and most were pretty straightforward to categorize. In the few cases where I was uncertain, I went by which genre was listed first on its IMDB page.

So, without further ado, let’s look at the BREAKDOWN OF THE FILMSPLOSION LISTS BY GENRE:

  1. TIE – Action and Comedy (7)
  2. Animation (5)
  3. Drama (4)
  4. Horror (3)
  5. Superheroes (1)

Wow! After reigning supreme for four years, Dramas finally fell off the podium and fell all the way to third (or really fourth) place! I chalk that up to no James and Henry entries this time. Even Animation outdid Dramas this year.

Now, to be fair, we had several movies that were counted as Comedies but were probably more dramedies. The Holdovers, Poor Things and Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret all fell into this gray area for me, but IMDB counted them as comedies first and dramas second. But it’s hard to count any of those as pure Dramas when you also have something like Oppenheimer in that mix.

Uhh… should I see Bottoms? It’s only streaming on MGM+ (lol what is that?) and the library doesn’t have it. 🙁

Comedies and Action tied for first this year. Comedies have been stuck with silver for a long time, so it’s good to finally see them at the top of the podium, even if they have to share it.

I do think it’s interesting that we’re seeing more Action movies among the Nerds’ lists. (Although, as I said, that’s probably due to no entries from James and Henry this time around). Or maybe it’s that Action movies are starting to fill the void that Superhero movies have left.

Speaking of which … for the first time in five years, we only had one Superhero entry. Technically two, if you want to count Spider-Verse, even though I counted it as animation for our purposes.

Still, even if you have Spider-Verse switch teams, Animation still beats out Superheroes for the second time in two years.

I pointed out this decline in Superhero movie quality last year. In retrospect, LOL.

After reigning supreme for so many years, the MCU has definitely taken a tumble in our esteem, it seems. No Multiverse of Madness from Ryan and no Thor: Love & Thunder from anyone… which, sadly makes a lot of sense. We’ll see if Superhero does better at Filmsplosion 2023, as we’ve got Guardians of the Galaxy: Volume 3, Shazam 2, The Flash and others dropping this year.

Show Time: A Statistical Recap of Filmsplosion 2022

Looking ahead for 2024, I have a feeling Deadpool 3 and/or Joker 2 will be Filmsplosion entries, but I don’t know what else could. If Beyond the Spider-Verse does actually come out in 2024 like the creators intend, I know that’ll make our lists, but I honestly think it’ll get pushed to 2025.

I am surprised we had so few horror entries this year, considering how many horror movies the Nerds saw as their Movie of the Week. I’m surprised M3GAN or something else the Nerds reviewed didn’t make it. It’s probably because 2023 offered so many amazing action and dramadies/comedies that only a few horror movies made the cut.

Barbie >>>>> Oppenheimer

I’ll throw in one final observation: despite the whole Barbenheimer trend and how drama-heavy the other Nerds tend to be with their Filmsplosion lists, I’m surprised Oppenheimer was only made Zach’s list. (It wasn’t going to make my list, because — while I believe that movie is very well-made — it also gave me a headache and I have no desire to sit through the whole thing again.) I figured Zach or Ryan would have it on theirs, especially with how much Ryan loves RDJ.

Anyway, that’s almost a wrap on A Statistical Recap of Filmsplosion 2023!

Thanks to Brad, I put all everyone’s lists below so you can see for yourselves which genre I slated for them. As always, it’s interesting to see how everyone’s lists look by genre, as some Nerds lean heavily one way and others, another. This year, there were several entries where I didn’t have to change the genre from last year’s entry, just the movie title. LOL

Corinne

  1. The Boy & The Heron – animation
  2. Barbie – comedy
  3. Puss in Boots: The Last Wish – animation
  4. Across the Spider-Verse – animation
  5. Godzilla Minus One – action
  6. Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves – action
  7. The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes – action
  8. Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret – comedy
  9. Leo – animation
  10. My Happy Marriage – drama

Zach

  1. Killers of the Flower Moon – drama
  2. Barbie – comedy
  3. Oppenheimer – drama
  4. Talk to Me – horror
  5. Asteroid City – comedy
  6. Evil Dead Rise – horror
  7. Sisu – action
  8. Brooklyn 45 – horror
  9. Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour – filmed concert
  10. Godzilla Minus One – action

Ryan

  1. Across the Spider-Verse – animation
  2. Bottoms – comedy
  3. Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol 3 – superhero
  4. Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning – action
  5. John Wick 4 – action
  6. Poor Things – comedy
  7. Evil Dead Rise – horror
  8. Barbie – comedy
  9. Polite Society – action
  10. Godzilla Minus One – action

Brad

  1. TMNT: Mutant Mayhem – animation
  2. Bottoms – comedy
  3. Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol 3 – superhero
  4. Barbie – comedy
  5. Theatre Camp – comedy
  6. Blackberry – drama
  7. The Holdovers – comedy
  8. Poor Things – comedy
  9. Across the Spider-Verse – animation
  10. John Wick 4 – action

Cheers, everyone! See you all again for Filmsplosion 2024!

Show Time: Was Disney’s “Wish” Lackluster? (Spoiler-Filled Review)

Last weekend, I posted my spoiler-free review of Disney’s newest movie, “Wish.” I ran out of time to do a spoiler-filled section and meant to go back and update the post after a few days.

However, after seeing the film a second time, listening to the soundtrack a bunch and thinking about “Wish” more as a whole, I wanted to do a deeper dive that deserved its own post. So, here we are.

This will contain SPOILERS for “Wish.” So, if you don’t want any spoilers, I suggest you check out my initial review.

Without further ado, let’s take a closer look at Disney’s “Wish.”

FINAL WARNING: HERE BE SPOILERS!

As I said, I decided to see the movie again on Tuesday when it officially released. I’m disappointed to say there were maybe 10 people total in the theater Tuesday night. That combined with the similarly low attendance at my early screening leads me to believe this movie won’t be a big hit. I’m sure it’ll make money. Heck, I bet there are tons of families at the theater right now. But, if people were really excited about it, there would’ve been more in those first few screenings. Ultimately, I think it’ll be another underperformer for Disney.

Now, coming out of my second screening I can tell you that I kinda liked it better the second time around, but I was also able to pinpoint exactly what many of the problems were.

I’m about to go into almost excruciating detail about them, but it ultimately boils down to: This movie had potential. It just needed one or two more drafts in the writing process, and either different songwriters or different orchestrations for the existing songs.

The Structure/Pacing

For me, at least, the first 30 minutes or so are really strong. I think “Welcome to Rosas” isn’t a bad opening song; I like Asha’s scenes with Magnifico and their debate about the wishes; I think “At All Costs” is an interesting heroine/villain duet (more on that later); I thought Magnifico’s set-up as a villain was well-handled; and “This Wish” isn’t bad as an ‘I want’ song.

However, I felt like the movie immediately went downhill whenever Valentino started talking and then we get the dumbest and weakest song in the movie “I’m a Star.”

From there, it didn’t get too much worse but it didn’t get much better until the very end.

I felt like Asha’s friends were ultimately forgettable and not fleshed out, and so much of the latter half of the movie revolves around them. Simon betrays her to get his wish granted; five of them break into the tower to free the wishes while Asha tries to distract Magnifico; and Dahlia gets several moments in the spotlight, both musically and storywise.

Other than maybe Dahlia and Simon, I could’ve done without them.

I’m also split on whether “Knowing What I Know Now” is good or not. It reminds me too much of “Night Falls” from “Descendants 3.” Some folks like that the villain got a more upbeat song, while the heroes got a darker song. I agree that it’s unique in that respect, but I don’t necessarily think that was the right decision.

But, something I did notice on second viewing is that while Ariana deBose and Chris Pine are excellent in their respective songs, a lot of the other singers … aren’t. Some of the animal voices in “I’m a Star” and some of Asha’s friends in “Knowing What I Know Now” needed a second take or something. Did they not hire professional singers for these roles? Thinking back on other Disney movies, the heroine and villain usually only get one or two songs each. But, here, Asha sings at least part of every song except Magnifico’s “This is the Thanks I Get?

Speaking of which, I think the song isn’t bad in concept but definitely could’ve been improved. We either should’ve had a darker reprise later in the movie (like Mother Gothel’s “Mother Knows Best) or had different orchestration in the second half to make it feel darker.

I’ll get into the music more later, but as I said, the second half of the movie really drags for me. Between Valentino, the singing chickens, the underwhelming songs and the emphasis on Asha’s friends, I really felt like they weren’t delivering on what was actually a really interesting premise and set-up.

The Ending

The movie did pick up again, slightly, when Magnifico goes full evil — capturing Star, torturing Asha, and chaining up the townspeople. He even takes a shot at his wife. Damn.

The first time I saw it, I genuinely wasn’t sure how Asha was going to get out of that situation. Of course, we loop back on the “everyone’s a star” thing. Narratively, I was OK with that because at least there was a reason that song existed in the movie, but it still felt a little weak and contrived in execution.

The first time I saw it, I was shocked that it looked like they actually gave Magnifico a real death scene, when he got sucked into his staff and was likely trapped in some hellish dimension. It made me think of Dr. Facilier with the “Friends on the Other Side” reprise. I was down with that. But, then a few minutes later, they completely undercut it by showing that he’s still alive — he’s just trapped inside his staff. Great.

Part of me wondered why. Was it supposed to be a reference to the Evil Queen’s Magic Mirror (because we already got that earlier in the movie) or did they want to give themselves an out in case they make a sequel and want to bring him back?

(P.S. When my roommate went to the preview screening with me, she pointed out how they referenced the King’s previous apprentices earlier in the film, but we never saw any of them. She wondered if that was something that could be fodder for a possible future sequel, and I don’t disagree with that thought.)

The Tone Shift

Anyway, the ending is fine but maybe a bit underwhelming. I still think that the first third or so was the strongest part of the movie for me. It felt like a very mature opening compared to what we got later. Between the talking animals, the jokes and the songs, I felt like the movie went from “family friendly” to “this was made just to entertain your toddlers.”

YouTuber Schaffrillas Productions also felt like there was a clear distinction between how things were treated in the first half of the movie versus the second half. Granted, he was talking more about Magnifico and how his character was treated (more on that later), but I still liked this quote he had: “It’s like the two halves of this movie were written by completely different teams who had conflicting ideas …”

Yeah, that about sums it up for me. I’ve heard rumblings online that the Disney executives either didn’t give the creative team enough time to properly develop everything in the writing process and/or forced them to change things during production.

Look, y’all know how much I love the Miyazaki films. I feel like those are a classic example of how different animated movies can be tailored for different audiences. “Ponyo” was clearly made with very young children (3-6yo) in mind, while something like “Spirited Away” was more for older children (8-12yos), and “Princess Mononoke” was more for preteens, teens and adults.

Here, it’s like they wanted to make a movie for that 7- to 10-year-old demographic who doesn’t need singing chickens or talking animals or butt jokes every two seconds, but then someone said “No, we need to do something to keep the toddlers entertained.” That’s why Asha is so quirky and awkward in the first half — because we needed some comic relief since Valentino couldn’t talk yet — but seems to be more put-together and mature in the second half.

And, granted I’m an adult so I wasn’t the target demographic for a lot of these jokes, but I felt like the humor didn’t land at all. There might’ve been one or two times when I sniggered, but that was it. And some of the humor, the tone shifts and the “modern” vibe undercut what could’ve been a really good and dark story.

The Villain Song

So, the best example I can give of this “undercutting” is in the song “This is the Thanks I Get?

When Magnifico gets out the book of forbidden magic, the song takes on a darker tone and orchestration, and Pine’s singing reflects that, becoming deeper and raspier.

But then, he suddenly stops and is like “Where was I? Oh yeah.” And then we get another verse WITH THE EXACT SAME ORCHESTRATION AND MELODY.

What. The. (Expletive).

This is a Disney movie! This is your villain song! Go big or go home!

In opening this book and tapping into its dark magic, this guy essentially sold his soul to the devil. As we find out later in the movie, using that magic has an irreversible impact on a person’s soul/psyche. The “old” Magnifico is gone now, and he’s never coming back.

And the music … doesn’t reflect that at all. Hell, I’d argue even the visuals don’t.

Yes, at the VERY end of the song, we get this moment where it’s clear Magnifico has gone over the edge. But, I wanted that moment earlier. I wanted that to be clearer.

Frollo’s “Hellfire” is probably the obvious example of showing a villain slip from “sanity” into complete madness — and proverbially selling their soul to dark forces. But honestly, I think the better comparison would be “No Good Deed” from the stage musical “Wicked.”

Quick background: “Wicked” is like the “story you didn’t know” behind the classic “Wizard of Oz,” going into the witches’ backstories and so on. Elphaba, who we later know as the Wicked Witch of the West, is actually a heroine through most of the story. But, there’s one moment where she’s pushed over the edge by never-ending loss and desperation. And, in the song “No Good Deed,” she finally snaps and decides to become the monster the people of Oz already believed she was.

While the story isn’t quite the same as Magnifico’s, I think the impact is similar. Both are “good” people who have been pushed over the edge by desperation. They’ve tried to do what they thought was the right thing, and they’ve only been “punished” for it. Magnifico literally sings about how he’s done ~everything~ for the people of Rosas, and they’ve only been ungrateful and demanding in response.

We’ll dive more into Magnifico’s character in a bit, but this was an opportunity for the movie to “show his true colors in shades of green,” as Asha sings about later. Instead, we get this very upbeat, very lighthearted song — all things considered. Given that the movie has a lighter tone in the first half but goes VERY dark by the end, this could’ve been that big shifting point. The song could parallel the movie, starting very light and upbeat, and going very dark by the end. Again, I think “Hellfire” is a great example of this. As it is, it’s still too light even at the end to properly reflect the movie’s darker second half.

Other Songs

I could talk all day about how underwhelming Magnifico’s villain song is in the context of the movie, but I have plenty of other gripes about the soundtrack. But to save on your time and mine, I’ll only touch on a few.

I’ve already mentioned how I dislike “I”m a Star” and how I’m split on “Knowing What I Know Now,” but I have a larger problem with the musical compositions overall. I agree with Schaffrillas that the compositions sound too pop-y and should’ve been more in the traditional Broadway style; how weak many of the songs’ lyrics are; and how everything generally sounds like Lin Manuel Miranda Lite.

The big thing for me is the lack of a “showstopper” song.

Let’s say you’re a Broadway producer and you want to turn “Wish” into a stage musical. What song is going to be your big blowout number — the one you pull out all the stops for? In the Disney Renaissance movies, these were clear because the movies themselves often treated them like showstoppers. “Under the Sea,” “Be Our Guest,” and “Friend Like Me” are the best examples. The animation, the choreography, the orchestration… everything is designed to pump up the audience and leave them like “Do that again!”

“Wish” doesn’t really have one. I think they were trying to make “I’m a Star” the big number. It does have ensemble vocals with a lot of moving pieces and unique visuals. But, how the song’s arranged both musically and in the movie, it doesn’t feel like a big showstopper. It feels like a pop song that’s one day going to be performed terribly at a bunch of first-grade music programs. Kill me.

“At All Costs”

One final beef I’ll bring up is “At All Costs.” After both viewings, this was definitely my favorite song in the movie. It highlights the two best singers in the cast, and really took me by surprise on first viewing. “Wow. We’re getting a duet? Between the hero and villain? This early in the movie?” Looking back on the structure, it makes sense. The latter half is so much darker, that this really had to be one of the first songs out of the gate. Usually the ‘I want’ song is second on the docket, but this honestly kind of worked.

So, the bad: some of the lyrics are weak, and it really suffers from that pop-y style. It’s also not clear from the lyrics/style exactly who or what these characters are singing about.

I sent this to multiple people who hadn’t seen the movie yet, and asked them to guess what it was about. Everyone’s first guess was a couple singing about how much they love each other; and the second was parents singing to their child. The first one is exactly what I’d guess just from the lyrics and style. It’s a Disney movie after all. If it has a duet, especially between a man and a woman, we’re just going to assume ~romance~. But, I think the lullaby aspect is more what the movie was going for.

The instrumentation definitely leans into the chimes in the first verse. But, when the strings and percussion pick up in the chorus, I’d argue it takes on more of a romantic ballad sound. If they wanted to play up the lullaby aspect, they should’ve just stuck to the chimes and maybe had just like a harp or something soft underneath it.

One more suggestion is to have the song play up the differences in how Magnifico views the wishes versus how Asha does. Yes, we see some of these differences in the visuals, but the song would’ve worked better if the lyrics had matched it. I’ve listened to “At All Costs” more than a dozen times now, and it’s clear that both characters really want to protect these wishes.

But, while the visuals tell us that Magnifico sees them as this larger collective and a symbol of his power and respect as king, Asha connects with them more individually.

She sees the wishes as extensions of the people she knows and loves. The very end of the song is Magnifico using his magic to make all the wishes fly around the tower while Asha lovingly cradles her Saba’s wish. The visuals show the distinction, but the lyrics should’ve too!

I think this is only the second time we’ve gotten a duet between a Disney heroine and a Disney villain. (The first time was “Frozen,” I think. And that was explicitly a love song.)

It could’ve been a great opportunity to show both the similarities and the differences between Asha and Magnifico, almost acting acting like a secondary ‘I want’/villain song for both of them. I also think it would’ve been really cool if we’d gotten a darker reprise of “At All Costs” toward the end, maybe when Magnifico goes crazy and tries to control everything. Something like Jafar’s “Prince Ali (Reprise)” moment. If we couldn’t get a darker reprise of “This is the Thanks I Get?,” this would’ve been my second choice.

The Villain

As I said in my spoiler-free review, I actually thought Magnifico was a pretty good villain. I was thankful the narrative didn’t make him too sympathetic or neutered, for lack of a better word. He has his moments where he’s incredibly dark and evil, harkening back to classic Disney villains. I won’t say he’s better or worse than any of them, but he’s definitely better than any Disney villain we’ve gotten since Mother Gothel 13 years ago.

I also thought his descent into madness — minus the songs — is fairly well done. This is one point I actually disagree with Schaffrillas on. He complained that Magnifico took a “hard left turn” from being a charismatic manipulator in the first half to just being possessed by the book in the second half.

We first meet Magnifico on his on terms. He’s powerful, well-loved and well-respected by the people of Rosas. He actually has a few moments of vulnerability with Asha, seeing in her a kindred spirit who’d do anything to protect the people of Rosas. This is something I’ll get into later, but I really thought he and Asha had great (non-romantic) chemistry, and their dynamic is something the story should’ve done more with.

However, the minute Asha questions his decision-making, he gets dismissive then confrontational, almost gleefully so.

His remark to her as he’s leaving the first Wish Ceremony perfectly conveys this: “I’ll keep their wishes safe, along with all the others.” He’s acknowledging that he has leverage over the people of Rosas, and what’s more, he LIKES it.

Then Star appears, and Magnifico notices how it impacts the wishes. As he tells his wife, he feels as though he’s being challenged or threatened. There’s another source of magic in Rosas, and he doesn’t know what it is. He only knows that it impacted his own magic, meaning it’s likely stronger than he is.

So, he searches for answers. He almost opens the book of forbidden magic, but his wife talks him out of it. Then, after summoning the people and hearing them question him and what he’s done/doing, he feels like he has no choice. If he wants to hold onto his power, he has to open the book.

I pointed out to others how Magnifico chooses to keep the book prominently on display in his study, rather than under lock-and-key in the dungeon (as we find out he has later and easily could’ve done). Why keep such dark magic so readily available? It’d be like having the Necronomicon in one of those clear candy safes on your bookshelf.

If he wanted to keep it out of others’ hands, the dungeon or another secure and out-of-sight location would’ve been a better option. The dungeon (or whatever that room below the King’s tower is called) was only accessible by magic. As it is, it seems anyone can break into the tower, as Asha demonstrates. And, yes, he does have some basic magic protecting it, but he seems to break past it no problem when he wants to use the book. If another powerful sorcerer wanted to find and use the book, they very easily could.

My point is that it’s almost like Magnifico had it so accessible because he wanted an excuse to use it. While he might’ve told his wife it was a “last resort,” he was quick about reaching for it the minute he felt he was being threatened or challenged. He didn’t even have basic information about what caused the light or whether it’s still in Rosas, but he reaches for his “last resort” anyway.

As expected, once he taps into the book of dark magic, whatever goodness he had in him quickly vanishes. The minute he realizes destroying wishes gives him more power, all his promises in “At All Costs” are forgotten. He only cares about power, as his wife says in “Knowing What I Know Now.”

Not to say he didn’t care about power before — because he clearly did — but it was couched in keeping Rosas, its people and their wishes safe. I think he honestly believes that people will only like him and stay in Rosas if he promises to grant their wishes. I think that’s part of why he only grants like one a month, and admits most of them will never be granted. Again, they’re leverage to keep people liking him and staying in Rosas.

Side note: I also think it’s quite possible that he can’t grant many of the wishes, even with his powerful magic. We only see him grant two: the dressmaker gets a pair of enchanted scissors, and Simon gets a suit of armor. That’s it! First, I’m not sure how enchanted scissors = best dressmaker in the world. There’s a lot more that goes into dressmaking than simply cutting fabric. Wouldn’t she need an enchanted needle too? But, honestly, I think Saba’s wish is the perfect example of one Magnifico CAN’T grant. As he says, it’s vague; but moreover, it’s intangible. It centers on people’s feelings. What exactly could Magnifico do or give Saba to help him inspire the next generation? Even if he gave him an enchanted guitar, that doesn’t automatically mean the next generation will be inspired.

Anyway, I could see some other version of the script where Magnifico admitted that he couldn’t grant all the wishes. That’s why he only picked one (and probably did so very carefully) to grant each month, and made everyone forget what exactly their wishes were.

Back on track, though: I thought it was actually a nice touch how he seems to guard the wishes like a mother bird guarding her nest. The only time we see him leave the tower is for the Wish Ceremony and to ask for information about Star. Before he starts singing “This is the Thanks I Get?” he tells his wife: “I’ll be with the wishes. Don’t disturb me unless you have good news.”

Then the minute he taps into the book of dark magic, where does he go? Not only does he literally spiral downward from his tower, but HE LEAVES THE WISHES. Perfect.

See? It’s those little touches that make me think that this could’ve been a great Disney movie rather than this middle-of-the-road film we got.

So that brings me to my final section:

How to Make “Wish” Better

I know I’ve made a ton of suggestions already on how to fix this or that, but they were all relatively minor points. Now, I want to focus on big-picture stuff — the story and the characters — and not so much the song’s orchestrations or nonsensical lyrics.

Here are three changes they could’ve made to improve the movie we got:

1. MAKE ASHA THE KING’S APPRENTICE

To be honest, based on the marketing, that’s exactly who I figured Asha was going into the movie.

In the trailer, we get Dahlia’s comment about her being the King’s apprentice. Then we see her giving a tour, generally hanging out at the castle and seated next to the Queen during the Wish Ceremony, so she seemed to have some kind of importance in the kingdom. Then, when “This is the Thanks I Get?” was released ahead of the movie. there were a couple of lyrics that made me think the King was singing to Asha. The line about “I let you live here for free … I clean up all your messes and I’m always there when you need to vent” made me think he was talking to/about her and her role as his apprentice.

So, I was disappointed to find out Asha was only APPLYING to be the King’s apprentice. Why? Why couldn’t she be his apprentice? You could easily make that change, and improve both Asha and Magnifico’s dynamic and arcs. It’d also add to the drama of the story, because I think the best Disney villains are the ones who have a past connection with the hero/ine.

Let’s say: Asha’s been the King’s apprentice for maybe a year or two when the film starts. She helps give tours and hangs out at the castle, which is how she became friends with Dahlia & Co. She’s only done low-level tasks like cleaning out the fireplaces and running errands for the King, but Magnifico feels she’s proven herself and she’s ready to learn magic like a real apprentice.

So, the first thing he does is show her the wishes. Instead of showing a complete stranger something very precious to him as he does in the movie, have that moment be a sign of his trust and faith in her — kind of like when your parents finally give you the keys to their car.

And then Asha turning around and immediately asking him to grant her Saba’s wish would cause him to waver. Maybe he put too much faith in her — maybe she’s selfish, just like all the others. Having that previous connection between them would also explain why Asha feels comfortable asking Magnifico to grant her Saba’s wish, rather than asking a complete stranger as we see in the movie.

They can have the exact same conversation about why he doesn’t grant all the wishes, and Magnifico sees it as Asha challenging him and being ungrateful after everything he’s done for her. And, of course, he’d be upset. Maybe he’d dismiss her altogether, or at least temporarily, and the rest of the movie can play out almost the same.

But, of course, as master/apprentice, there’d be a stronger connection between them. When he finds out Asha was the one who betrayed him, it’d help justify why he goes so dark so quickly. One of the two people he thought he could genuinely trust — his wife and his apprentice — betrayed him, and the other one soon follows suit. Could’ve been a nice opportunity for a dark “This is the Thanks I Get?” reprise, but I’ll stop beating that drum.

It’d also set up an interesting dynamic as Magnifico was supposed to teach Asha magic, but she ends up learning it or acquiring it through Star. It’d ultimately be a story of how she initially chose Magnifico as her teacher, but when she discovered his true nature, she basically chose Star as her teacher instead.

I really don’t know why Disney didn’t make Asha his apprentice from the start. The marketing seems to indicate that’s what the story was. If there was one aspect where I felt like corporate Disney tried to course-correct and put its fingerprints on this movie, this would be it. “Oh, we can’t have the heroine be the villain’s apprentice. Then she’d be complicit in his evil deeds!!” or some crap like that.

2. GIVE THE WISHES A TEMPTING ALLURE TO TEST THE CHARACTERS

Honestly, this wouldn’t change the movie too much. I just really like the idea.

So, in the movie, there are a few lines that indicate that the wishes have some kind of strange allure. Both Magnifico and Asha feel compelled to protect them “At All Costs,” despite one having been around them for years and the other only seeing them for the first time. Asha even says they’re “everything.” They have a special pull on both these characters, and of course, they’re central to the story.

I wish the creators had played with this idea more. Maybe the wishes are almost like a “good” version of The One Ring from “The Lord of the Rings.” Everyone who sees them is mesmerized, captivated, and almost entranced. They feel this overwhelming urge to physically hold them, to emotionally connect with them, etc. They’d give up everything to protect them at the drop of a hat, but in a good way — maybe like the Pearl of Great Price from the Christian Gospels.

But, of course, with that feeling comes the reluctance to let them go or give them back. Maybe that’d give more layers to Magnifico wanting to hold onto the wishes. He refuses to return them or release them. He’s not just protective of them; he’s possessive of them. They’re not the people’s; they’re his.

Again, we get a lot of this in the movie. But, either the filmmakers should’ve played it up more, or been a bit clearer about it.

We only really see their impact on Magnifico and Asha. I guess Queen Amaya maybe walks by them once or twice — did she ever have the same feelings toward them that Magnifico or Asha did?

Star is obviously immune to their effect, as its a literal wishing star. But, what about Asha’s friends who break into the tower — did they feel it too? I think there might’ve been a line or two that suggests they did, but then they very quickly get to work. It would’ve been cool if the movie had taken a second and really sat with that moment. Seeing a room full of the embodiment of people’s wishes must be an incredible sensation. The friends should’ve had a moment where they felt compelled to hold them and keep them close, and interacted with them the way Asha did. Maybe Star would’ve had to intervene and indicate that they needed to get to work, and remind them that the wishes aren’t theirs and they need to give them back.

Again, it’d be like those moments with The One Ring where each character is tested. Everyone who approaches the wishes has to decide whether to hold onto these very special things or whether to let them go/give them back. It could show that not even our heroes are immune to temptation.

But, of course I’m asking for a moment of nuance in a Disney movie, and we ain’t got time for that!

3. STREAMLINE THE SUPPORTING CHARACTERS

Others have talked about this, so I’ll keep this brief.

Asha has: a mom, a grandpa, seven friends, a talking goat sidekick, a sentient but non-talking Star sidekick, various other animal friends, and an eventual ally in the Queen. I think we only needed about half of them.

For comparison, Moana had a mom, dad, grandma, a non-talking rooster sidekick and the sentient but non-talking Ocean sidekick. Mirabel had her various family members and the sentient non-talking Casita sidekick.

If it’d been up to me, I would’ve given Asha a grandparent to help kick off the wish storyline. Maybe a parent too, so she wouldn’t leave her grandparent on their own when she returns to free all the wishes.

But then, instead of her seven friends at the palace, I’d only have two or three people. One of them could be an older brother or cousin, which could help explain why Asha’s at the palace so much if she’s NOT the King’s apprentice. We need one of these people to betray her as Simon does in the movie, and then the other one/two can join her in returning the wishes.

I personally would not have given her a talking animal sidekick. Maybe you can have Valentino but he just never talks, or maybe there are talking animals but they’re not her sidekicks. I think Star is sufficient as a non-talking sidekick. Those types of characters worked just fine in “Moana” and “Encanto.”

The Queen can still be her eventual ally — that’s fine. I honestly think the only reason her character exists is to 1) give Magnifico someone to talk to through the middle chunk of the movie and 2) be there to rule Rosas whenever Magnifico’s eliminated. I’ve seen other people suggest that she should’ve been evil so we could’ve had our first evil villain couple since the King and Queen of Hearts in “Alice in Wonderland,” but I don’t feel that strongly about it.

There were far too many supporting characters and most of them faded into the background for me. We were really missing fun characters with memorable personalities — like Sebastian, Cogsworth and Lumiere, the Genie, or Timon and Pumbaa. I think they tried to slot Valentino into that role, but even I don’t think he got enough screentime to fill it.

Ultimately, I think audiences would’ve connected with the supporting characters more if there were fewer of them and we spent more time with each of them.

TL;DR

Again, as I said, this movie had potential. It just needed a script-doctor and different songwriters. I thought the character designs and animation were well-done; some of the voice acting and songs are fun; and the Disney in-jokes and homages were a nice tribute.

But, as time passes, I don’t think “Wish” will join “Moana” and “Encanto” in the modern Disney pantheon. I’m sure some folks out there will have a soft spot for it, the way I do with “The Princess & the Frog,” but I doubt it’ll receive the status of a “new Disney classic” for most households. I mean, it didn’t even crack the Top 3 Best Animated Movies in 2023 (at least in my book) and that’s saying something for a Disney princess/musical movie.

But, maybe I’m wrong and Disney’s 100th anniversary “Wish” will come true…

Show Time: “Wish” Review

It’s the week/end before Thanksgiving, so you know what that means…

I have a new Disney movie to review! This time is the House of Mouse’s 100th anniversary film, “Wish.” Disney as a brand and as an animation studio are struggling to find a solid footing after the pandemic, underwhelming Disney+ movies, some box office misses, and other political/social controversies.

Can “Wish” help Disney revive its magic for the studio’s centennial celebration?

Well, let’s take a look:

Summary:

Asha and her family live on the island-kingdom of Rosas. Its ruler, King Magnifico, is a powerful sorcerer who has the ability to grant people’s wishes. Over the years, almost everyone has given Magnifico their wishes, but once they do, they don’t remember what their wishes were.

When Asha applies to be Magnifico’s apprentice, she learns he isn’t going to grant most of them, but refuses to give them back. An upset Asha wishes upon a Star, who then appears in Rosas. Asha realizes that the Star can help grant her wish — and Rosas’ wishes — but it’ll require facing Magnifico, who’s become more desperate and crazed…

NO SPOILER REVIEW:

Let me say at the outset that I don’t think this is ~Disney’s worst animated movie ever~.

That said, I did find it underwhelming.

I went in trying to temper my expectations (both good and bad) and keep an open mind. But, I’ll admit I wasn’t very successful. The trailers and promotional material gave me pause. “What exactly is the conflict here? Something about wishes and a Star coming to earth? This animation style looks unconventional — I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.”

Then, Disney released Magnifico’s villain song, “This is the Thanks I Get?“, and Asha’s ‘I want’ song, “This Wish,” a few weeks ago. The latter seemed to work just fine, but the former left me very nervous for the fate of the movie.

I feared Magnifico would be this very soft villain. That the movie would either try to make him sympathetic, or make him too humorous to be taken seriously. There’s at least one “evil” moment in the song that’s undercut with a joke.

I’ll do a deeper dive in my spoiler-filled review, but for now, I’ll say: Magnifico was actually a pretty decent villain. Not the best, but not the worst.

Honestly, that’s how I felt about the movie overall. It was better than “Raya and the Last Dragon,” which I’d argue is the worst Disney animated movie in the last 10 years, but it didn’t reach the heights of “Encanto” or “Moana” either.

My roommate went with me to the early screening tonight, and she felt similarly. I gave the movie a B-, and she gave it a “solid B.” She and I agreed: some aspects of the movie were really good; but others, could’ve been fixed or at least improved with a few minor changes.

  • The story was a bit weak to me; there are moments that I’m still scratching my head about. But, I will give the creators this: it was an original story. That was something we desperately needed from Disney right now.
  • The music was … fine. Some songs work better than others. There was one in the latter half of the film that reminded me of the Disney Channel “Descendants” movies, and I don’t think that’s a good thing. Honestly, I have a whole diatribe about the music, but that’ll have to wait.
  • The animation is actually pretty good. I was skeptical of the style when I saw it in the trailer, but I didn’t notice it at all in the theater.
  • The characters are decent. I think Asha and Magnifico are the strongest, which makes sense as they have the most screen time and development. I was very nervous I was going to hate Valentino (Asha’s goat sidekick) because I rolled my eyes at all his jokes in the trailers, and I … still disliked him. But, he did have a few good moments. The rest of the cast are serviceable for the movie’s framework, but I think they’re ultimately forgettable. Honestly, my favorite character was Star. If Disney decides to make Star one of their future mascots at theme parks or whatever and/or there’s a billion Star toys out there this holiday season, I totally get it. Star was perfectly designed: adorable and vivacious, without being annoying. Honestly, I wish we could’ve just had Star as Asha’s sidekick and either eliminated or at least minimized Valentino’s screentime. But, the children in my screening loved all Valentino’s jokes, so I acknowledge I wasn’t the target audience for that character.
  • The voice acting and singing all worked for me. Ariana deBose is fantastic as Asha, and honestly, we need Chris Pine to be in more musicals. I thought their few scenes together were the best in the movie, and I wish we’d gotten more between them. (I’ll be expanding on that in the spoiler-filled review.)

For me, the strongest aspect of the movie was the Disney Easter eggs and homages.

As the studio’s 100th anniversary film, there are a lot of fun winks and nods to other Disney movies. Some are very obvious, while others are subtle background details.

I had fun noticing little things like the Evil Queen’s poison apple on a table and the Beast’s rose in the stained glass windows. And, honestly, my favorite part of the movie was the credits. When you see them, you’ll understand why.

FUN FACT: If you stay to the very end — after all the credits — there’s a very short scene. It’s not relevant to the movie or anything. It’s just another fun homage.

Overall, I won’t give a blanket recommendation that you give this a watch this Thanksgiving / winter holiday season. If you or your family saw the trailers and thought it’d be fun, or you’re a die-hard Disney fan, I think you might enjoy it. But, I definitely don’t recommend it as strongly as I did “Encanto” in 2021.

Show Time: Predictions for “Ted Lasso” Season 3/Series Finale

It’s hard to believe that a one-off character from a decade-old NBC Sports commercial has completely stolen my heart (and the hearts of millions of other people) and somehow became an acclaimed series along the way.

“Ted Lasso” — the story of an American football coach who moves to England to coach the other type of football (AKA soccer) — has returned for its third and presumably final season. All the creatives have said they wrote and shot this season as though it was their last, and I honestly hope that stays true. I do expect and somewhat hope there will be a spin-off series down the road, but I believe the story of Ted Lasso himself is coming to a close this spring.

As I write this, the first two episodes of Season 3 have already dropped, and the third episode is dropping later tonight. I had hoped to put this together before they aired, but ran out of time. Still, I wanted to have a little fun by sharing my predictions for the next 10 episodes.

WARNING: HERE BE SPOILERS!!!

In my predictions, I’ll be going over some tidbits from various trailers and TV spots we’ve gotten already, some set photos from fans who saw them filming certain scenes, and interviews and BTS footage. So, if you don’t even want anything remotely close to spoilers for S3, turn back now!

Also, I don’t pretend that all of these predictions are unique to me. Some of them are, but others are theories/predictions that many in the fandom believe in, and I’m simply one of them.

So, with all this preamble out of the way, let’s dive right into my predictions for the third and final season of “Ted Lasso.”

AFC Richmond

So, before I do really deep dives into the individual characters, I’m going to give a brief overview of how the team itself will do this season.

We saw in 3.02 that the Greyhounds tied their first game at Chelsea and now they’re adding superstar Zava to their ranks. I think in this first third of the season — both the soccer season and S3 — we’ll see Richmond doing really well. This will be thanks to Zava giving the team extra firepower on the field, even if I think there will be drama in the locker room. (I’ll get into that more later.)

However, in the second third of the season, I think Richmond will experience a series of unfortunate events. I think something will happen to Zava — either he’ll leave or he’ll get injured — leaving the team adrift. There’s a shot of the entire team in one of the trailers, and I’m guessing it’s from an episode about halfway through the season, and I didn’t spot Zava among the players. Granted, maybe I missed him, but I think still think there’s a good chance Zava will leave or get injured after a few episodes.

Around this same time, we’ll get Isaac’s suspension. In one trailer, we get a shot of Isaac in the stands accosting someone, and in another shot, we see him in street clothes tapping the ‘Believe’ sign. I’m not sure how long a suspension for fighting a fan would last. It might be through the rest of the season, or it might be only for part of it.

If he’s only suspended for a few months, I think his return could serve as a turning point for Richmond in the final third of the season. Between Isaac returning from his suspension and Nate rejoining the coaching staff (more on that later), Richmond will be a force to be reckoned with — especially if Zava or Jamie also return after being injured. (UPDATE: I rewatched the shot of Isaac fighting the fan, and it appears there’s another Richmond player next to him. I can’t tell if it’s Zava — it might be. It’s possible Zava starts the fight with the fan, Isaac goes into the stands to get him, a fan mouths off to Isaac too and that’s when he accosts the guy. Then, both Zava and Isaac would get suspended — explaining why both of them appear to be missing from the “I love you guys so very much” moment in the main S3 trailer.)

Just like Ted said last season, the middle of the season will be the team’s ‘dark forest.’ Things will look grim between Zava leaving/getting injured, Isaac being suspended, Jamie maybe getting injured too (more on that later), and probably a host of other things.

We know from set photos that Ted & co. travel to Amsterdam in the middle of the season. Not sure whether they’re doing so to play an off-season game or simply as a vacation to regroup from their slump. I don’t think Amsterdam will be a turning point for the team — I think they’ll continue to struggle to some degree after the trip — but it will be a turning point for some of the characters in their individual arcs. (I’ll delve into who/why in the next section.)

So, in the final third of the season, Richmond is going to make a significant comeback thanks to various people returning to the program (Nate, Isaac, Zava?, Jamie?), winning games they should’ve tied and tying games they should’ve lost. Ultimately, they’ll start overachieving and proving all the haters wrong. As they go into their final game, they’ll have a chance to “win the whole fucking thing,” as Ted said in the S1 finale. And, because this is a sports comedy, where the heroes triumph in the end, I believe they will win the championship just as Ted predicted.

But, as we got hints of in the S3 premiere, helping Richmond win a championship will prompt a big change for Ted. Which leads me to my next section:

Ted & Rebecca

I think it’s a no-brainer that the season/series will end with a shot of Ted’s face. S1 opened and closed with Rebecca in her office. S2 opened and closed with shots of Nate on the soccer field (albeit different fields). So, just as S3 opened with a shot of Ted’s face in an airport, I think it’ll close with a shot of Ted’s face, probably at an airport.

From the S3 premiere, it’s clear that part of Ted’s arc this season will be about finding reasons either to return to Kansas or stay in Richmond. If Richmond does win “the whole fucking thing” as Ted and Rebecca hope, I think Ted will feel as though he’s accomplished everything he set out to do. The team will have made history; all the players will be better people than when he first arrived; and Rebecca’s legacy as Richmond’s owner will be cemented.

Between Ted talking about his dad in S2 and S3 opening with Henry visiting Ted, I think it’s safe to say that Ted will feel obligated to return to Kansas and be more active in Henry’s life. He accomplished what he wanted to at Richmond, and now he needs to focus on being a dad.

So, the final scene will be him at the airport. But, I don’t think he’ll be alone.

Whether she catches him at Heathrow before he leaves, or hops on a private jet and meets him in Kansas City, I think Rebecca will convince him not to go. Or… she’ll go with him.

Yes, fam, I think Ted and Rebecca are our endgame couple for “Ted Lasso.” Much of S3 will be focused on building this up. We already had a very significant moment in the premiere, when Rebecca was vulnerable with Ted — something we rarely see from her — and asked him to fight back (for her)!!

Up till now their relationship has been platonic but significant. She’s the one who instantly recognizes his panic attacks in S1 and S2; he defends her from Rupert at the gala and during the darts game; he bakes her biscuits every day; she ‘saves’ him from spending Christmas alone in S2 … There are too many moments to mention.

In any case, I think their relationship will really start to shift after the Amsterdam episode, which will probably be Episode 6 or 7.

ICYMI: The “Ted Lasso” cast and crew filmed scenes in Amsterdam for this season, which is significant because the creators came up with the character of Ted Lasso in Amsterdam. So, needless to say, when the show “Ted Lasso” returns to the character’s “birthplace,” it’s going to be for some serious stuff.

So, leading into the Amsterdam episode, Ted and Rebecca will keep doing their usual stuff. They’ll have more significant interactions, but they’ll remain platonic. I think Amsterdam will be where one or both of them realize they have feelings for the other. (I’m putting my money on Rebecca realizing she likes Ted first.)

Anyway, this revelation will complicate their relationship through the remainder of the season/series. But, when Ted announces that he intends to return to Kansas after the final game, he and Rebecca will have an honest conversation about how they feel.

Before S3 premiered, I predicted on social media that Rebecca would go back to Kansas with Ted, and I do still see that as a genuine possibility. But, after seeing Episodes 1 and 2, I think it’s more likely that Rebecca will convince Ted to stay in England … at least for a while. Maybe they’ll go to Kansas together some day, but they’ll want to spend some time as a couple first.

Either way, I think the season has to end with Ted giving up his coaching gig. Whether it’s because he intends to return to Kansas or because he’s now dating the team’s owner, he can’t stay AFC Richmond’s coach.

Before I jump into who I think will succeed Ted as head coach, I wanted to touch on a few other predictions I have for Ted and Rebecca individually in S3:

  • By the end of the season, Ted will have some legit soccer knowledge. Up to now, he was mostly coasting on charm and the people around him. He let them focus on the strategies, lineups, techniques, play calls, etc., and he worried more about the team dynamics and morale. But, I think by the end of the season, Ted will come into his own as a proper soccer coach. Maybe he won’t be as smart as Nate or Roy, but he’ll be much, much better than he was in S1-2. We’ve already seen glimpses with him saying that he and Henry played a lot of FIFA video games over the summer, and him starting to read Beard’s soccer book.
  • Ted will continue his therapy sessions with Dr. Sharon, and he’ll have a lot of insecurities about his ex-wife moving on while he’s still processing their divorce. He’ll also continue exploring his role as a father, as I said earlier, wanting to return to Kansas to be more active in Henry’s life.
  • Based on set photos, we know Ted’s mom comes to visit him. I predict this will be either in the penultimate episode and/or the finale. I think Ted’s mom will help him realize what he wants to do once he’s accomplished everything at Richmond, and where he needs to go next. I also just generally think Rebecca meeting Ted’s mom is going to be hilarious — just like Ted meeting her mom was.
  • Rebecca will have a confrontation with her mother, and a separate one with Sassy. Both of them have been less-than-ideal influences in her life, and she needs to either set boundaries or cut ties completely. I think she may divulge to Sassy that she has feelings for Ted, which could lead to a major argument between them.
  • This one might be a bit of a stretch, but it’s possible that Rebecca will have a realization about Ted needing to go back to Henry based on her experiences with Nora. Rebecca disappeared from Nora’s life for six years, so much so that when she started spending time with her again, Nora was completely different from the little girl she remembered. When Ted shares with Rebecca how he feels he needs to return to Kansas to be there for Henry, Rebecca might be able to relate (on a smaller scale) based on her experiences with Nora.
  • Rebecca will ultimately triumph over Rupert. Not sure exactly what form it’ll take (maybe she’ll find out he’s cheating on his current wife Bex and spill the beans?), but there’s no doubt in my mind Rebecca will have the last laugh against Rupert.

OK. Now that we’ve addressed our two leads, let’s move onto the other couple on this show:

Roy & Keeley

I think it’s pretty obvious that Roy and Keeley are getting back together. I just think that Roy needs to grow a lot first.

We’ve seen hints at this in the first two episodes — the remark about how he needs to surrender to the earth, and the later conversation about him preferring to end things on his own terms rather than letting things play out (ie, quitting over being fired). Roy has a lot of growing to do personally before he can be in a relationship with anyone.

I do think Roy and Ms. Bowen, Phoebe’s (former?) teacher, might go out on a few dates. They set up in S2 that she might have a crush on him, but I think it’ll ultimately be a stepping stone to help him get back together with Keeley. Maybe he realizes that, as nice as Ms. Bowen is, she’s not Keeley. And as Roy told Rebecca last season, “You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel like you’ve been struck by fucking lightning! Don’t you dare settle for fine!” I think that moment will come back around, likely with Rebecca repeating the line back to him.

As for Keeley, her subplot has been the least interesting part of Season 3 for me thus far. It’s not terrible, but it’s not really grabbing me either. During my rewatches, I’ve just skipped those scenes. I think, generally, Keeley will step into that ‘boss’ role. She’s going to take pages from Ted and Rebecca’s books and learn how to motivate people and create good team chemistry. She’ll help break her coworkers out of their stuffy molds and really liven up the place, just like Ted did at Richmond. I also think she’ll channel Rebecca and help her friend become the next Keeley.

So, earlier I said that Ted will ultimately resign as Richmond’s head coach, and I could see Roy succeeding Ted. I don’t think it’s a certainty — because there’s another candidate out there — but I do think it’s a strong possibility. Roy started out the series as a past-his-prime footballer who thought Ted was a joke and hated everything Ted tried to do when he first came to Richmond. So, having Roy succeed Ted and continue that work at Richmond would be a great way to end his arc.

I’ve seen a few people theorizing that Beard will take over after Ted, but I honestly think Roy makes more sense. He has more cred as a former footballer, and the fans already love him. While Ted will plan to leave England, I think Beard will choose to stay at Richmond as an assistant for Roy … or for the other possible candidate to replace Ted:

Nate

Yes, I think it’s pretty obvious Nate isn’t going to stay on ‘the dark side’ forever. He is the Anakin Skywalker to Rupert’s Emperor Palpatine, so it’s only a matter of time before Nate reconciles with Ted and returns to ‘the good side.’

There’s a lot to unpack with Nate, but his arc will ultimately boil down to his relationship with Ted and his relationship with Rupert. He’ll see Rupert for the snake he really is and second-guess all his assumptions and criticisms about Ted.

Right now, Rupert is using Nate as a pawn in his grand game against Rebecca and Ted. It’s possible Nate senses this, but doesn’t care because he likes having Rupert’s approval and the power that comes with being a football club manager (rather than an assistant coach or a kit man).

But, I think we’ll soon see that Nate isn’t prepared to be a head coach, and that he’s the exact opposite of Ted.

Ted is very open with his players, creating a good sense of teamwork and collaboration among his staff. Even just walking into the training facilities, he has good banter and friendly greetings for all his coworkers. His office is on the ground floor, right next to the locker rooms. He also shares the office with Beard, and the door between their office and Roy’s is frequently open. He’s rarely on his phone, and doesn’t seem to use social media very much.

Meanwhile, in the few scenes we’ve had at West Ham, Nate’s been very demeaning toward his players, and doesn’t seem to have any rapport with his fellow coaches. In the season premiere, when he arrives at West Ham, he doesn’t respond at all to the staffer who tells him “hello.” His office is on the second or third floor, secluded and isolated. It’s away from the locker rooms, likely on a floor of other offices. But we don’t see any other coaches visiting Nate or vice versa. Also, Nate is constantly on his phone, checking social media.

Ultimately, Nate will find out the hard way just what it takes to be a successful coach. Unlike Ted, who seemingly lets criticism roll right off his back, Nate can’t let things go. The pressure will get to him and West Ham, specifically Rupert.

I think, in the latter half of the season, there will be a confrontation between Rupert and Nate. Rupert will be lashing out at Nate, feeling that he’s destroying West Ham. And it’ll become clear to Nate that Rupert was just using him and that he never believed in him the way Ted did.

We know from the trailers that Richmond will likely win or tie at West Ham, causing Nate to be absolutely furious with his team; and that later, Ted and Henry attend a West Ham game (probably while Henry’s visiting over fall/Thanksgiving/Christmas break).

I think I saw someone theorize that Henry will ask for Nate’s autograph and inadvertently tell Nate about Ted having Nate’s picture on his dresser at home. I don’t know about that specifically, but I think there will be a moment midseason that will force Nate to rethink how he treated Ted and whether leaving Richmond was the right thing. And, considering how Henry was a big advocate for Nate’s little Lego man rejoining Richmond in the S3 premiere, I think it’s possible Henry will be a catalyst for Nate rethinking his relationship with Ted.

Anyway, after all this, I think we’ll have the confrontation between Nate and Rupert, and that will be the final straw for the ‘fallen from grace’ coach. Nate will realize he shouldn’t have left Richmond. He’ll regret everything he said to Ted, prompting him to reconcile with his former mentor. Not only will Ted forgive him, but he’ll also probably offer him his job back.

This will probably be in the last 2-4 episodes of the season, and I think Nate coming back to Richmond for the final few games will be a major turning point for the team. If Richmond is going to win the whole fucking thing, as Ted predicted in the S1 finale, then Nate returning will have to be part of that.

Now, by the season finale, when Ted announces that he plans to leave Richmond, it is possible that he’ll choose Nate to succeed him as head coach. Seeing this wimpy kit man who was constantly bullied by the team becoming Richmond’s head coach, and seeing the man Ted dubbed “Nate the Great” who fell to the ‘dark side’ but came back to help Richmond to victory, would also be a satisfying conclusion to Nate’s arc.

But, in my personal opinion, I think it’d be best for Nate and everyone else if he leaves for another program — but with Ted & company’s blessing this time. I think he’ll realize that staying at Richmond would be too awkward with Ted leaving, as he might feel out-of-place coaching alongside Roy and Beard. It’s also likely that he’ll feel like he’s “outgrown” Richmond (in a good way) and that he needs to move on and do his own thing. Maybe he’ll decide to coach elsewhere in Europe — hell, maybe he’ll even go to the United States. (Wouldn’t that be hilarious?!)

Also, just like Rebecca, Nate needs to have some kind of ‘come to Jesus’ moment with his parents, specifically his dad. Nate’s relationship with his dad is the driving force behind his insecurities. His father doesn’t give Nate the time of day, so when Ted did, Nate picked Ted as a replacement father-figure. So, for the audience to feel like Nate’s fully matured from the awkward kit man we met in S1, he really needs to address his problems with his dad and with Ted.

Honestly, I think Nate’s reconciliation with Ted in the latter half of the season is going to be the most emotional moment in the show up to that point. Although, I do think the final Ted/Rebecca scene is going to top even that.

The Supporting Cast

This section shouldn’t take long, as I don’t have a lot of confident predictions for Beard, Higgins or the Richmond players.

As I said, I think Beard will stay in England as an assistant when Ted announces he’s going back to Kansas.

For Higgins, I think he’ll come into his own more by the end of the show. He was introduced as this very second-fiddle, butt-of-the-joke sort of character, but he’s really grown into someone who’s less awkward and more accepted by the Richmond players and staff. I think he’ll continue that trajectory, likely with some big promotion or recognition, but I’m not sure what. I saw one prediction that, when Rebecca goes back to Kansas with Ted, she’ll leave Richmond to Higgins. I like that idea on paper, but I don’t know how it’d work in execution. Owners need a lot of money to keep their team at the top of the league, and Higgins doesn’t seem to have that money. Although, I guess if Rebecca just gives him the team, he’ll start getting all those incomes (especially if they win the championship) without having to pay anything for it. But, that’s more of an idea that’s floating around, not a solid theory I’m putting forward.

Now, moving to the players: With Zava joining Richmond, this should kick off a nice little arc for Jamie. He’ll really come to terms with his role on the team — he’s not used to sharing the spotlight with someone equally gifted and equally cocky. Zava will challenge that status quo, and the two will likely butt heads.

If I were writing Jamie’s arc for S3, I’d have him get injured and be sidelined for a good chunk of the season. It wouldn’t be a career-ending injury, but it’d serve as a wake-up call that he’ll soon be where Roy was in S1 — at the end of his footballer career. I want to see Jamie develop an “after football” career plan — whether that’s becoming a pundit, a coach or something else. This would show how much he’s grown and how he’s not so egotistical that he thinks he’ll play forever.

I also think we’ll have another appearance from Jamie’s dad, and I think we’ll see Jamie and Roy becoming better friends in S3. Jamie won’t be tempted to hit on Keeley anymore, despite her and Roy breaking up. Ideally, I think Jamie will get a love interest in the latter half of the season, just to show how he’s moved on from Keeley and reaffirming to the audience that the Roy-Keeley-Jamie love triangle is definitely over.

I don’t have major predictions for the other players, though. Like Jamie, I hope Sam gets a nice love interest to show the audience that he’s moved on from Rebecca.

Additionally, once Isaac gets suspended for fighting, we see Sam wearing the captain band in the trailer, signifying how much of a leader he’s become on the team. To be honest, I think Sam is poised to become a franchise player at Richmond. If he didn’t leave in S2 to play for Morocco, I don’t think he’s going to leave at all. Maybe he’ll have enough money/stability to bring his family to the UK, and help him run his restaurant?

Finally, I’ll just briefly mention Colin. I’ve said on Twitter that Colin has consistently been the butt of the joke through S1-2. Of Nate’s three original bullies, we’ve seen tremendous growth from Jamie and Isaac. Now, S3 will be Colin’s turn. I think he’ll come into his own as a Richmond player. Someone predicted he could get into a serious car accident, possibly as a suicide attempt. I don’t think the show will go quite that dark, but I do think Colin will get some serious screen time in S3. After everything Nate did to him in S2, he needs to prove his worth to all the naysayers, like the nun he mentioned in the S3 premiere.

Anyway, I’ve been throwing a lot of predictions at you in this post. So, here’s a recap of the MAJOR ones:

TL;DR

  • Roy and Keeley get back together, possibly getting engaged.
  • Richmond wins “the whole fucking thing.”
  • Ted announces he’s leaving Richmond to return to Kansas and be with his son.
  • Roy will take over as head coach.
  • Beard will stay on as an assistant to Roy.
  • Nate will leave West Ham, reconcile with Ted & co., help Richmond win the championship, but then leave to coach another franchise (not Richmond or West Ham).
  • Ted and Rebecca have a scene at the airport, where she decides to go with him OR she convinces him to stay. And that’s the final scene of the show — Ted and Rebecca at the airport.

Miscellaneous/’Just For Fun’ Predictions

I thought of a couple of other random things while putting together this post. Most of these are random one-off predictions, but here ya go:

  • When Richmond plays at West Ham in a few episodes, Zava is going to help Richmond win or tie. This will really piss off Nate and Rupert, who wanted so badly to beat Richmond with Zava on their team. (Callback to the most recent episode.)
  • Ted will finally learn the offside rule and make a legit argument about it in a game, probably the finale. (This will be an inverse of the S1 finale.)
  • Rebecca will be wearing red in her final scene, and Ted will be wearing blue. (This is a Wizard of Oz reference. Rebecca=ruby slippers/way home; Ted=Dorothy)
  • With Ted leaving Richmond, I believe Roy will take Ted’s spot in The Diamond Dogs. However, I think Ted will dub Higgins as the leader of The Diamond Dogs in his stead, as Higgins is the best fit personality-wise. I also think Will will take Nate’s old spot. So the final set of Diamond Dogs will be: Higgins, Roy, Beard and Will. (Callback to various things.)
  • EDIT: We will also get another reference to Roy’s “yoga moms” group in S3. We’ve had at least one in S1 and S2, so I imagine we’ll either get another reference or scene with them this season. It’s possible he’ll introduce Jamie to them, but more likely we’ll get a scene where they tell Roy they always knew he was a famous footballer and just never said anything. Roy did say in S1 that they had no idea who he was, but I have a hard time believing someone in England wouldn’t recognize a famous footballer. I mean, would a group of yoga moms in the United States not recognize … I don’t know, Peyton Manning or Patrick Mahomes? Even if they didn’t recognize his face, wouldn’t they have heard his name somewhere? Anyway, I just think it’d be fun to see them again. (Callback to multiple episodes.)
  • We will learn the identity of the high-scorer of the Crown & Anchor’s Wizard of Oz pinball machine. (Callback to the S2 episode where Ted’s playing pinball.)
  • Trent’s book will have a pun in the main title, like “Better off Ted” or something like that. (This is just generally obvious based on all the headlines we’ve seen in this show, but I think Keeley said something in S1 about the power of rhymes and puns in England.)
  • “New Rebecca” (AKA Bex) will divorce Rupert after she realizes what a manipulative asshole Rupert is, just as Rebecca did. NGL, Rupert is probably going to cheat on Bex just like he did with Rebecca. (This seems obvious to me.)
  • We will get at least one more scene of Higgins playing upright bass. (A bit random, but we’ve gotten one scene like this every season thus far. *shrugs*)
  • Similarly, I think we’ll get another scene of someone spelling out “Hi” on the ground with objects/people. (Again, we’ve gotten one instance in every season so far.)
  • Colin will start dating someone he met off Bantr. (As I said earlier, Colin’s been the butt of the joke for long enough, and he deserves a happy ending. Him finding someone on Bantr, the company that sponsors his team, would be hilarious.)
  • We will get at least one scene at Sam’s new restaurant. (After I wrote this, I realized there’s a shot in one of the trailers where it looks like the players are at a restaurant. So, yeah, this is basically already confirmed.)
  • The flight attendant lady who took Henry to his plane will appear again in the finale, probably when Ted is trying to board his flight. (Callback to S3 premiere)
  • Beard and Jane will still be doing their on-again-off-again thing in the finale. I honestly don’t think the guy is ever going to leave her for real. If he was going to, he would’ve done it by now. Hell, maybe they’ll be talking about getting engaged/married by the finale. (IDK. Seems obvious.)
  • The Pub Guys will get Richmond/Ted Lasso tattoos. (Callback to earlier episode.)
  • Ted will call someone a wanker — probably the old guy he sees outside the pub who calls him a wanker. (IDK. I feel like he’s got to do it at some point.)
  • Once word gets out that Ted is leaving Richmond, he’ll get an offer to coach at another English soccer club. (Reference to the second “Ted Lasso” commercial from NBC Sports.)
  • UPDATE: We will definitely get a third “confession” moment between Rebecca and Ted in Ted’s office, mirroring when she confessed why she hired him in S1 and when she told him about Sam in S2. Ted himself already set this up last season, with him and Rebecca saying they’d reconvene at the same time, same place in S3. This will be the penultimate episode (3.11), and I imagine that Rebecca’s big confession will be that she has feelings for Ted. Now, I see one of two scenarios happening:
    • 1) Rebecca will make her confession to Ted, as scheduled, and he’ll tell her that he’s decided to go back to Kansas after the final game, causing both of them to reevaluate their decisions over the next two episodes.
    • 2) Rebecca will plan to tell Ted that she’s in love with him, but he’ll interrupt her and tell her about his plans to return to Kansas. Thus, Rebecca will decide not to tell him then and there, prompting her to do a romcom-style airport run in the finale, so she can confess her feelings before he leaves.

Alright, fam, thanks for sticking to the end of this post! I look forward to the remaining 10 episodes and sending this show out in style. Let’s go, Richmond!

Movie Madness 2023: Selection Sunday Announcement

It’s hard to believe this will be our fourth Movie Madness tournament. Didn’t we just start this thing, like, yesterday?

In case you missed it, in 2020, because the post-season college basketball tournaments were canceled, I thought, “What better way to keep the crazy competitiveness of March alive than with a movie tournament?”

So, I introduced Corinne’s Movie Madness.

A special thank you to Brad for the excellent graphic!

Just like the basketball tournaments, we had a field of competitors facing off in one-on-one competitions. You, the Reel Nerds fans, decided which of the two movies in a given match-up advanced to the next round, and eventually crowned The Princess Bride as Movie Madness 2020’s champion.

In 2021, I got my fellow Nerds involved in a Disney/Pixar Animation tournament. Of all the amazing 16 movies, I’m happy to say my No. 1 seed, Beauty & The Beast (1991), won the 2021 crown. Then, last year, we did DC vs. Marvel and Logan came out on top of the 16-film bracket.

This March, we’re finally tapping into the origins of Movie Madness with a sports movie tournament!

The competitors and bracket mechanics

Unlike the NCAA basketball tournaments, this one is very selective. Only 16 films qualify for a coveted spot on the bracket. No doubt you’re wondering exactly how I picked 16 films out of hundreds of sports movies.

Well, first, shout out to Brad for giving me the idea for this year’s theme. I had a couple of ideas in February, but after talking to some of the other Nerds, I realized a sports movie bracket would be perfect! I’m honestly surprised I haven’t done one yet. I practically grew up on sports movies, as there were tons that came out in the 90s and early 2000s.

So, that’s where I started building this year’s bracket. I decided that, to qualify, the movie had to come out in my lifetime — 1990 or later. I realize this excludes a ton of sports movies, including very beloved ones like Rocky, Field of Dreams and Hoosiers, but I had to start somewhere. It’s possible I might put together a pre-1990 sports movie tournament in the future.

I also decided to exclude any movies that involved animals (Air Bud, Seabiscuit, etc.), and required that the movie’s main character (or co-main character) has to coach or play the given sport. So, movies where the main character is only a fan, a parent, an agent or the team’s owner don’t qualify.

So, with those criteria, I started asking my fellow Nerds and other friends what their favorite post-1990 sports movies were. Based on their suggestions and some of my own favorites, I compiled a bracket of 16 films.

I decided to create the “regions” based on what time of year the sports depicted are typically played. For example: basketball movies in the winter sports, baseball in the spring sports, etc. I know soccer/futbol is played all over the world at various times of year, so I decided to go with the season when the local college plays it — fall. I also combined year-round sports and summer sports into one category.

Then, once I figured out which region/category the movies would start in, I selected the first-round matchups based on the sports and/or the tone of the movie. Some are more comedic, so I tried to pair them up with other sports-comedies. Same thing with sports-dramas.

Thus, because of the weird formatting, we’re not doing “seeds” or rankings for each movie this year. It would’ve complicated things much more than necessary.

How you participate

Just like the college basketball tournament, Movie Madness will start Thursday, March 16!

That day, we will post the first match-up on the Reel Nerds’ Twitter page so you can cast your vote! Simple as that.

For instance, March 16 will feature our first Winter Sports matchup; whichever movie receives more votes by the time the poll ends will advance to the next round. (If there happens to be a tie, I’ll cast the deciding vote.)

Eight days later, we will advance to the second-round match-ups, and the procedure will be the same until a movie is crowned the winner. If I’m counting right, our championship matchup should be on March 30.

Announcing the field

Here is your full field:

  • Thursday, March 16: Cool Runnings vs. Space Jam. Who knew winter sports could be so… looney? Cool Runnings is based on the true story of the Jamaican bobsled team making its debut in the 1988 Winter Olympics. While Space Jam is the “true story” of basketball legend Michael Jordan deciding to play professional baseball, only for the Looney Tunes to convince him that basketball is where his real talent lies.
  • Friday, March 17: Miracle vs. Hustle. Both sports-dramas, Miracle is based on the true story of the U.S. hockey team overcoming its underdog status in the 1980 Winter Olympics; while, Hustle is a recent Netflix movie featuring Adam Sandler as a pro basketball scout who puts his career on the line to train a complete unknown for the NBA combine/draft.
  • Saturday, March 18: A League of Their Own vs. 42. Both dramatic retellings of true stories, ALOTO shows women playing professional baseball during World War II and 42 portrays Jackie Robinson’s role in breaking baseball’s color barrier.
  • Sunday, March 19: Angels in the Outfield vs. The Sandlot. Both childhood classics of mine, each film examines what happens when the impossible becomes the possible, when the imaginary becomes reality on the baseball field. Angels in the Outfield is about the titular professional baseball team receiving some divine intervention, and The Sandlot is about a group of boys who spend their summers growing and learning together on the field.
  • Monday, March 20: Ford V. Ferrari vs. Creed. Both more dramatic sports movies, Ford V. Ferrari is based on the real-life racing rivalry, and Creed — a sequel to the Rocky franchise — shows Apollo Creed’s son picking up his father’s gloves and stepping into the boxing ring.
  • Tuesday, March 21: Happy Gilmore vs. Talladega Nights. Both insanely funny sports-comedies, Happy Gilmore is what happens when a NHL reject takes up professional golfing, and Talladega Nights is about Ricky Bobby’s journey to regain his racing mojo.
  • Wednesday, March 22: The Big Green vs. Bend It Like Beckham. These soccer comedies are what happen when your imagination runs away with you on the field. The Big Green shows a small Texas town forming its first-ever youth soccer team, while Bend It Like Beckham is a coming-of-age story about a Punjabi-British girl’s desire to play soccer despite her family’s objections.
  • Thursday, March 23: Remember the Titans vs. Rudy. These football dramas show the true power of real-life underdog stories. Remember the Titans depicts the titular players having to overcome their racial prejudices when their Virginia high schools integrate, while Rudy‘s the story of an underdog who dreams of playing football at Notre Dame.

Thus, on Friday, March 24, we will start the second round and on March 30, we will have our championship showdown.

Which sports movie will take home the 2023 Movie Madness Trophy? Which Cinderella story will take the crown? Which set of underdogs will triumph in the end?

You decide!

Show Time: A Statistical Recap of Filmsplosion 2022

Well, it’s been several weeks since Filmsplosion 2022 came out. Have you finished listening to it yet? If not, don’t read the rest of this post, as we’ll be looking at all the Nerds’ Top 10 lists.

So, in putting this together, I basically assigned every movie a scored based on where it was on a Nerd’s list. If it was their #1 film, I gave it 10 points; if #2, 9 points; and so on until our #10 films received 1 point each. If it was one of the eight films that appeared on more than one list, then it has a combined score.

(In case you forgot, I did this for Filmsplosion 2019, Filmsplosion 2020, and Filmsplosion 2021.)

Now, we’ll get to which of the eight movies had the highest average score, but first, we’ll look at the movies that scored the highest overall.

So, here are the HIGHEST SCORED MOVIES of Filmsplosion 2021:

  1. Top Gun: Maverick – 42 points (a record high)
  2. Glass Onion – 30
  3. The Batman – 29
  4. Weird: The Al Yankovic Story – 18
  5. Everything Everywhere All At Once – 13
  6. Pearl – 12
  7. Belle – 10*

The asterisk denotes that Belle only appeared on my list. The two other movies that appeared on multiple lists, Marcel The Shell With Shoes On and RRR, had 9 and 8 points, respectively.

Unsurprisingly, if we look at these films’ average scores (total score divided by number of lists it appeared on), it doesn’t look all that different.

So, THE AVERAGE SCORES for the eight films that appear on multiple lists are:

  1. Top Gun: Maverick – 8.4
  2. Glass Onion – 7.5
  3. The Batman – 7.25
  4. Everything Everywhere All At Once – 6.5
  5. TIE: Pearl and Weird – 6

Of the 10 highest-grossing movies of 2022, in terms of domestic box office, two of them appeared on multiple lists (Top Gun: Maverick and The Batman) and one of them appeared on just my list (Black Panther: Wakanda Forever). Looking at 11-20 at the 2021 domestic box office, three more appear in Filmsplosion 2022 (Elvis, Uncharted and Nope).

One more thing I wanted to examine is how our selected films break down by genre. How many action movies do we have? How many dramas? Super-hero flicks? etc.

So, for this assessment, I went by each film’s most basic genre. Our choices are: animation, action, comedy, drama, horror and superhero. No documentaries in the running this year, although that has been a category in the past.

I’m generalizing which category it’s in based on my own experience in either seeing the movie or watching the trailer, and most were pretty straightforward to categorize. In the few cases where I was uncertain, I went by which genre was listed first on its IMDB page.

So, without further ado, let’s look at the BREAKDOWN OF THE FILMSPLOSION LISTS BY GENRE:

  1. Drama (9)
  2. Comedy (7)
  3. TIE – Action and Horror (5)
  4. Animation (4)
  5. Superhero (2)

Dramas lead for the fourth consecutive year, and Comedies took silver again this year after getting bumped off the podium last year. Horror did much worse after coming in second last year, and surprisingly, Animation beat out Superheroes! The only other time that’s happened was 2020, when hardly any superhero movies came out.

I do find it interesting that only two Superhero movies were on our lists at all – The Batman and Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. The guys all had Batman of course, and I was the sole BPWF entrant and even that was a last-minute decision.

After reigning supreme for so many years, the MCU has definitely taken a tumble in our esteem, it seems. No Multiverse of Madness from Ryan and no Thor: Love & Thunder from anyone… which, sadly makes a lot of sense. We’ll see if Superhero does better at Filmsplosion 2023, as we’ve got Guardians of the Galaxy: Volume 3, Shazam 2, The Flash and others dropping this year.

Anyway, thanks to Brad, I put all the Nerds’ Filmsplosion lists below so you can see for yourselves which genre I categorized each movie as.

Give the lists a look, in case you forgot what everyone picked. I also think looking over everyone’s lists by genre is very interesting, as you can see some Nerds lean more on one genre than others. Again, not a bad thing — just something to take note of.

Zach

  1. Everything Everywhere All At Once – drama
  2. Nope – horror
  3. The Fabelmans – drama
  4. Pearl – horror
  5. Halloween Ends – horror
  6. Marcel the Shell with Shoes On – animation
  7. Top Gun: Maverick – action
  8. The Batman – superhero
  9. X – horror
  10. Elvis – drama

Ryan

  1. Top Gun: Maverick – action
  2. Weird – comedy
  3. Prey – action
  4. The Batman – superhero
  5. Glass Onion – comedy
  6. Pearl – horror
  7. Tar – drama
  8. (Guillermo Del Toro’s) Pinocchio – animation
  9. Hustle – drama
  10. Barbarian – horror

James

  1. Top Gun: Maverick – action
  2. The Batman – superhero
  3. Glass Onion – comedy
  4. Prey – action
  5. See How They Run – comedy
  6. The Banshees of Inisherin – drama
  7. Thirteen Lives – drama
  8. Weird – comedy
  9. Uncharted – action
  10. RRR – action

Corinne

  1. Belle – animation
  2. Top Gun: Maverick – action
  3. Glass Onion – comedy
  4. Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero – animation
  5. Hadestown – stage show
  6. Operation Mincemeat – drama
  7. Black Panther: Wakanda Forever – superhero
  8. Everything Everywhere All At Once – drama
  9. Stadium Fluffy – comedy
  10. Spirited – comedy

Brad

  1. The Batman – superhero
  2. Top Gun: Maverick – action
  3. Glass Onion – comedy
  4. RRR – action
  5. Weird – comedy
  6. New York Ninja – action
  7. Marcel the Shell with Shoes On – animation
  8. CODA – drama
  9. Clerks III – comedy
  10. #ShakespeareShitstorm – comedy

Well, that’s all I got, folks. Hope you enjoyed this statistical breakdown of the 2022 Filmsplosion episode! 🙂

Show Time: The 5 BIGGEST PLOTHOLES in “The Empire Strikes Back”

“Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back” might be a masterclass in cinema, but even it’s not perfect. After seeing it twice this weekend on the big screen, I can’t help but scratch my head about some of the writing and character decisions in this film.

Now, there are plenty of things I could be pedantic about — like Anthony Daniels’ C-3PO clearly breathing in the background as Han and Leia talk about the “Lando system” — but, for the sake of everyone’s time, I’m going to focus on the five biggest plotholes I noticed this time around.

Are you ready?

To be honest, I made the title click-bait-y on purpose. I wanted to see if this would get any more traction than my previous posts. Really, the title should’ve been “5 Questions I Have About ‘The Empire Strikes Back’ After My 131st Rewatch”.

I am going to be talking about things that I think might be plotholes, but don’t think of it as “the logic in this scene makes no sense, therefore this movie is dumb.” Think of it more as “Hey, George Lucas & Co., I have questions about this.”

So, I’ll pose each possible plothole as a question. Maybe there are explanations out there in the novelization, or other Star Wars media, and I’m just not privy to them. I’ll also try to come up with my own explanations as best as I can.

I also won’t pretend that I’m the first person to think of or share these questions/possible plotholes; there are definitely one or two of these that I know fellow Star Wars fans have questioned before.

Just want to say again that I do love “The Empire Strikes Back.” I’m not trying to hate on it; I’m just trying to pose legitimate questions I have with the universe’s logistics and the character choices, and maybe start some discussions with fellow fans about these questions.

With all that said, let’s dive in:

#1: What exactly was Vader’s plan for attacking Hoth, especially if his main goal was to capture Luke?

This was maybe the biggest question I had coming out of the rewatch this weekend. We see throughout the whole film (and in the Star Wars/Vader comics set before this time period) that Vader is willing to do anything to find his son. So, why would he risk an assault on the Rebel base when he’s “sure Skywalker is with them”?

Luke almost dies not once but three times in the Battle of Hoth sequence. His gunner Dak gets killed; then, his speeder takes a direct hit and crashes; and then he almost gets crushed by one of the AT-ATs. (Granted, that last one was mostly on him, as he was trying to grab something out of the back of the speeder.)

Any one of the speeder pilots/gunners or ground troopers theoretically could’ve been Luke, and we see the AT-ATs just shooting at all of them with abandon. Was Vader so confident that Luke would survive the battle?

Moreover, what was Vader’s original plan? Because he had to change plans after “Ozzell came out of lightspeed too close to the system.” So, he wanted the Empire to start its attack from farther away… Why?

The Rebels were confident that the Empire was on its way so they’d already started the evacuation process, but maybe Vader didn’t know that. Maybe the probe never relayed that it’d encountered hostiles and self-destructed, or maybe it did, but Piett or someone didn’t relay that information to Vader. So, maybe Vader assumed that the Rebels didn’t know the Empire was coming and wanted to do some kind of long-range attack… but wouldn’t that still endanger Luke’s life?

If I was Vader, I would’ve had the fleet come out of lightspeed in a spot where it’d be out-of-range of Rebels’ scans but still close enough to Hoth to launch ships from. Then, I would’ve sent the Imperial equivalent of Seal Team 6 to infiltrate the base and extract Luke alive and bring him back to the Imperial Fleet. Then, I would’ve had the Imperial Forces attack the Rebel base, whether that was a long-range bombardment, ground assault, or whatever. OR I would’ve pulled a Voldemort and demanded Luke surrender himself or the Rebel base would be destroyed.

If I had to make a guess as to why Vader seemed confident Luke wouldn’t get killed in the crossfire, I’d say maybe Vader was using the Force to protect him somehow. Luke’s ship does take a direct hit; but rather than his ship blowing up, it’s only disabled and crashes. Maybe Vader was using the Force to influence the world around him to ensure Luke survived. I don’t know. Or maybe Vader was able to see enough of the future to realize Luke would survive the battle. But, all of these are just guesses.

With the biggest one out of the way, I’m going to tackle the rest of these in chronological order (as seen in the film):

#2: Everything about the Wampa makes no sense.

I know I’m not the first person to ask “Why didn’t Luke just kill the Wampa and stay in the cave?” But, everything else about the Wampa seems illogical.

First of all, how did such a big creature sneak up on Luke when Luke was just scanning for lifeforms AND physically looking around for any movement in a big open area? If the Wampa design had looked more like a snow leopard or a mountain lion, I would’ve understood. Those creatures are designed to sneak up on their prey and then pounce on them quickly and quietly. However, the Wampa is designed like a Yeti, which is a nice send up to the myth, but doesn’t make any sense. If Luke hadn’t been scanning for lifeforms and had been riding through an area where the Wampa could’ve jumped out and struck him, that would’ve been more logical.

Second, how does the Wampa stick Luke to the ceiling of its cave? Luke seems to be sealed in place with ice. How did the Wampa make such a trap considering the freezing conditions on the planet? Everything seems to be frozen already. So Luke being stuck to the ceiling via ice implies that the Wampa somehow melted snow, then somehow got this liquid on the ceiling (presumably, while holding Luke in place) and it froze again in a short amount of time. I don’t get the logistics of that. I could theorize that maybe there’s something about that cave (like a thermal hotspot) that allows snow/water to heat and refreeze quickly, but nothing else in the cave seems to indicate that.

Third, how did the Wampa recognize that the lightsaber was a weapon and take it off Luke’s person before imprisoning him in his makeshift freezer? Perhaps the Wampa is smarter than we give it credit for. Maybe it’s more akin to Chewbacca — with reason and intellect — than a mere animal. But, considering that human/oids don’t live natively on Hoth and this might be the first time the Wampa has ever encountered a human/oid, how does it understand human weaponry?

And, finally, yes, why doesn’t Luke just kill the Wampa and stay in the cave? I’ll chalk that one up to “adrenaline” and “not making the best decision under pressure” and “wanting to get away from danger ASAP.” But, for the rest… I have no idea.

#3: Why do AT-ATs exist? Or, at least, why does the Empire use them during the Battle of Hoth?

Again, I know I’m not the first person to point this out, but I fail to see the tactical advantage of large, four-legged walking tanks in a society where spacecraft and hovercraft exist. Hell, even in our world, we have tanks.

Hovercraft tanks exist in the prequels, so why didn’t the Empire have something like that? Why didn’t the Empire create something like a giant Snowcat/tank thing that can plow through any terrain and is nigh indestructible?

As we see with both the AT-ATs in this movie and the AT-STs in the sequel, the legs create too many vulnerabilities. If even one leg is compromised, damaged or destroyed, the whole thing collapses. I know tanks have their weaknesses too, but at least the hovering ones we see in the prequels seem to have fewer flaws than the AT-ATs do.

Also, the AT-ATs presumably get down there via ship, meaning the Rebel base’s shield doesn’t stop physical ships from getting through. So, why doesn’t the Empire just send down TIE fighters or other strike ships to do low-elevation bombing runs or something? Or at least do both AT-ATs and TIE fighters?

From an aesthetical sense, the AT-ATs look pretty menacing, and I suppose it’s a send-up of war elephants or something. I mean, I don’t hate them, but it’s definitely something you shouldn’t think about too hard.

#4: Why does Vader only sense some things with the Force?

This is mainly a question as to why Vader doesn’t sense the Falcon after it attaches to the Star Destroyer Avenger. It could also apply to why Vader doesn’t sense Luke when he’s still on Hoth.

So, at the beginning of the movie, Vader sees the image of the Rebel base that the probe droid sends in. He immediately recognizes that it’s the Rebel base the Empire’s been looking for, despite what the Imperial officers believe. Presumably, it’s because he could sense it was the Rebels via the Force.

Then, when he arrives on Hoth, Vader immediately starts going after the Falcon. In the comics set before ESB, it’s established how Vader knows Luke often flies aboard the Falcon. So, it’s possible he went after the Falcon believing Luke to be aboard or — at minimum — to capture Luke’s friends and force Luke to come to him. Either way, Vader gets what he wants.

But, then after the Falcon flies away, why doesn’t Vader sense that Luke is still on Hoth? In both ESB and ROTJ, Vader is able to sense Luke if they’re in relatively close proximity to each other (like maybe 10-20 miles). So, why doesn’t that work on Hoth?

Later, as the Falcon is hiding in the asteroid field, Vader just knows that everyone aboard is alive. How? I guess it’s through the Force somehow, but how does he know they’re alive but not know where exactly in the asteroid field they are?

Then, as I said, when the Falcon attaches to the back of the Avenger, why Vader can’t sense that Han, Leia & co. are in close proximity?

My guess — and this is just a guess — is that there are two separate Force abilities at work here. We’ll call it Force-sensing and Force-clairvoyance.

Starting with what I’ll call Force-clairvoyance: this is what Vader’s using when he recognizes the Rebel base and when he states that the Falcon‘s crew is alive. He can’t “sense” it per se, but he just knows it. It’s more akin to a gut feeling.

Now, with what I’m calling Force-sensing, I think this is when Force-sensitives are able to sense each other specifically. Maybe being a Force-sensitive “warps” the Force around you — think like how mass impacts gravity. Maybe each Force-sensitive person is like a planet, and the stronger they are, the more they warp the space/Force/environment around them. Not literally, but only on ‘the plane of the Force’ or something. Thus, one Force-sensitive person can feel another based on the way the Force warps in their general area — a “presence,” if you will.

This happens in “Star Wars: Rebels.” Kanan and Ezra are able to sense Vader’s presence near them, despite having never encountered him before. Vader also has a unique presence based on his emotional state – rage, coldness, anger. So, when they encounter him later in the two-part episode, they recognize he’s the one piloting the TIE fighter based on his presence.

Lots of Force-sensitives do this with each other, and their ability to feel each other’s presence seems to be based on: how powerful each of them is; how physically close they are; and how emotionally close they are. That’s why Kylo Ren is able to sense Rey in TROS, and why Vader can sense Obi-Wan in ANH.

Granted, maybe they can’t give an exact location, but if a new ship arrives in your area and you suddenly sense another Force-sensitive in the general vicinity, there’s a good chance the person you’re sensing is aboard the ship. This is exactly what happens between Vader and Obi-Wan in ANH and Vader and Luke in ROTJ.

So, this explains why Vader can sense Luke at the end of ESB, but why doesn’t it work between them on Hoth?

My guess is that Luke isn’t that strong with the Force yet, and thus doesn’t create as much warp in the Force or have a strong presence yet, as he does after training with Yoda. (Hence why Vader says “The Force is with you, young Skywalker.) Vader and Luke are also a lot closer emotionally — meaning that there’s a lot of strong feelings between them, not necessarily positive ones — after the Cloud City duel. Their fates are more tightly bound together after the duel, allowing them both to sense each other much more easily at the end of ESB and later in ROTJ.

Anyway, that’s a lot of explanation to close a plothole that I pointed out, but that’s the best guess I have.

#5: Why does Luke chase after Vader during the duel?

So, Luke is dueling Vader on the carbon-freezing platform, and Vader falls off. Luke then follows him. Why?

Luke’s main concern in going to Cloud City was to save his friends. He’d just seen how Leia & co. were in custody right before entering the carbon-freezing chamber. However, he was tricked into following them and is essentially trapped by Vader in the chamber. Once Vader falls off the platform, though, the one obstacle keeping Luke in that chamber is gone. Why wouldn’t he get out of there and rescue his friends? (There are other ways in and out of there besides the trap door he came through.) But, no, he decides to follow Vader down into the bowels of Cloud City.

My guess is that Luke felt it was his duty to try to stop Vader. He knows who this guy is and the evil he’s capable of. After pushing him off the platform, maybe Luke felt like he had Vader on the backfoot and wanted to finish the job.

He was also, generally, overconfident and riding high on his Jedi training with Yoda, and clearly didn’t realize just how powerful Vader is. I guess it was just another indication of Luke’s hubris. He should’ve taken a (paraphrased) lesson from “30 Rock”: Never follow Darth Vader to a second location.

###

So those are my five “biggest” “plotholes.” Again, this is more to prompt discussion than anything else. Do you have any thoughts? Feel free to comment on the Reel Nerds social media pages or email us: reelnerds@gmail.com. Would love to hear what you think!

Movie Madness 2022: Selection Sunday Announcement

Well, we’ve had so much fun the past two years, we’re just going to keep this thing going!

In case you missed it, in 2020, because the post-season college basketball tournaments were canceled, I thought, “What better way to keep the crazy competitiveness of March alive than with a movie tournament?”

So, I introduced Corinne’s Movie Madness.

A special thank you to Brad for the excellent graphic!

Just like the basketball tournaments, we had a field of competitors facing off in one-on-one competitions. You, the Reel Nerds fans, decided which of the two movies in a given match-up advanced to the next round, and eventually crowned The Princess Bride as Movie Madness 2020’s champion.

Then, last year, I got my fellow Nerds involved for a Disney Animation tournament. Of all the amazing 16 movies, I’m happy to say that Beauty & The Beast (1991) won last year’s crown.

This March, we’re going to attempt to answer the question that has haunted comic book movie fans for years: DC or Marvel?

The competitors and bracket mechanics

Unlike the basketball tournaments, this one is very selective. Only 16 films qualified for a coveted spot on the bracket. No doubt you’re wondering exactly how I picked 16 films out of dozens of DC and Marvel movies.

Essentially, once I decided on this year’s “DC vs. Marvel” theme, I played around with exactly how the bracket would be divided. Long story short: with some help from the Nerds, I picked out eight DC movies and then picked out eight of what I considered to be their Marvel counterparts.

These movies have all come out in the last 20 years — sorry, no Batman ’89 — and were all live-action movies that were released in theaters. That means Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse, Batman: Mask of the Phantasm, and other animated movies are disqualified.

I’m also excluding the four movies that appeared in Movie Madness 2020 — The Dark Knight, Iron Man, Wonder Woman and Marvel’s The Avengers. We already know how much those movies are loved, and I wanted to give other CBMs a shot at the Movie Madness crown!

So, with those discounted, I thought of eight DC movies and tried to find a spread of main characters, tones, conflicts and themes. Then, for each DC movie, I found what I considered its counterpart. Either it came out the same year, and/or had similar tones, plots, themes, or impact on how their respective studios made CBMs going forward. In one case, a DC/Marvel pairing had the same director.

Weirdly, the stars aligned so that Batman and Spider-Man will be facing off in one part of the bracket, and Superman and Captain America will be facing off in another. The others I arranged kinda randomly in the other two sections.

However, because of the weird formatting, we’re not doing “seeds” or rankings for each movie this year. It would’ve complicated things much more than necessary.

How you participate

Just like the college basketball tournament, Movie Madness will start Thursday, March 17!

That day, we will post the first match-up on the Reel Nerds’ Twitter page so you can cast your vote! Simple as that.

For instance, on March 17, it’ll be our first Batman/Spider-Man match-up; whichever movie receives more votes before midnight will advance to the next round. (If there happens to be a tie, I’ll cast the deciding vote.)

Eight days later, we will advance to the second-round match-ups, and the procedure will be the same until a movie is crowned the winner. If I’m counting right, our championship match-up should be on March 31.

Announcing the field

Here is your full field:

  • Thursday, March 17: Batman Begins vs. Spider-Man 2. The two came out a year apart, and while they had wildly different tones, they both had a profound impact on the world of CBMs and the superhero genre.
  • Friday, March 18: The Batman vs. Spider-Man: No Way Home. Both of these movies are still in the theaters, and critics and fans have loved both of them immensely. It’s interesting to see that despite each being set in a different universe than the two in the previous match-up, they both build on the tones and themes their predecessors set.
  • Saturday, March 19: Shazam vs. Deadpool. The two have similar tones and kind of the same style with fourth-wall breaks (although Shazam’s are more subtle) and cameo-ing characters from other parts of the same universe.
  • Sunday, March 20: The Suicide Squad vs. Guardians of the Galaxy. It’s the James Gunn showdown!
  • Monday, March 21: Joker vs. Logan. Or as I like to call it: “What happens when a comic book character known for wearing a bright costume gets thrown into a dark and grim world?”
  • Tuesday, March 22: Aquaman vs. Black Panther. Both movies deal with kingship and an outsider challenging the “rightful heir” to the throne. Plus, they have somewhat similar tones, compared to other competitors.
  • Wednesday, March 23: Man of Steel vs. The Winter Soldier. Not only did the movies come out a year apart, but both take a character known for being an American icon and general do-gooder and throw them into a world filled with gray morality and genocide-level stakes.
  • Thursday, March 24: Batman v. Superman vs. Captain America: Civil War. The movies came out the same year, and had a similar premise of beloved heroes going head-to-head.

Thus, on Friday, March 25, we will start the second round and on March 31, we will have our championship showdown.

Let’s decide once and for all: DC or Marvel!

Cast your votes!

Show Time: The 10 Hottest Men in “Star Wars”

This is the definitive list that absolutely no one asked for, but you all know you needed. These are, ladies and gents, the hottest men in “Star Wars.”

This isn’t a subjective list either. This isn’t “My Top 10.” This is THE Top 10. So, you just have to live with it. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.

A few clarifications before we jump in. This is for the entire “Star Wars” franchise — that includes all the movies and ALL the TV shows, even the animated ones.

Also, all these characters will be human/humanoid men. So, sorry, male aliens and male-presenting robots don’t count. I know how much you all wanted to see Chewbacca, K2SO and Babu Frik on this list, but it’s not going to happen.

The candidates have been judged on a variety of factors: physical appearance, voice/vocal performance, general demeanor and charisma, attire, fighting/piloting prowess, leadership abilities, and how they generally carry themselves. And, obviously, the more time we spend with them, the more time they have to demonstrate their hotness.

Of note: in this discussion, morality isn’t really relevant. There are a few baddies and anti-heroes on this list.

Alright, everyone, time to meet the 10 hottest men in the “Star Wars” franchise:

10. Ben Solo / Kylo Ren

You’d think that the son of Han Solo and Leia Organa, and the grandson of Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala — all some of the hottest people in the Star Wars universe — would be higher on this list.

Ben Solo/Kylo Ren isn’t really hot, but he’s not exactly un-hot either. He’s in this weird gray area. Sometimes he’s a complete hunk. Other times, he’s just … eh. It’s hard to wrap my head around. He’s got angles and looks that work for him, but there are plenty that don’t do him any favors.

But, he deserves a spot on this list, because even Rey was a little shocked at how hot he was when he took his mask off the first time in “The Force Awakens.” As Squidward put it…

9. Luke Skywalker

Sorry to say this, but Luke isn’t exactly hot either. He’s a lot like his nephew in that respect. He’s definitely attractive, but not in the same way as the other men on this list. He’s more “cute” than “hot.” Finn is in this category as well.

He’s probably at his hottest in “A New Hope,” when he’s running around as a helmetless stormtrooper. All that being said, Luke Skywalker definitely knows how to fight and, like his sister, inherited his mom’s fashion sense. He might not be hot, per se, but he’s still serving up looks.

8. Director Krennic

Boy, Director Orson Krennic from “Rogue One” can get it! I was apathetic about “Rogue One” when it was first announced, but just the shot of Krennic walking through the waters of Scariff in the teaser trailer was enough to get me hooked. And then those assholes CUT. THAT. SHOT. out of the movie!!!

Anyway, we get plenty of screentime from silver fox Director Krennic in the final film, and he is fresh-out-of-the-oven hot. Dude stands toe-to-toe with Governor Tarkin AND Darth Vader and comes out alive both times. You at least have to admire him for that.

The only reason he’s not higher on the list is because he’s a bit on the older side and only appeared in “Rogue One.”

7. Anakin Skywalker

Honestly, I think the “Clone Wars” version of Anakin is hotter than the live-action version. And Hayden Christensen is very good-looking, especially in “Revenge of the Sith.”

What keeps Anakin from being higher on this list is his immaturity in “Attack of the Clones” and his general dumbassery in all his appearances. Because of that, he doesn’t carry himself very well. Granted, that’s kind of the whole point of the prequels, but hey, that’s the criteria for being on this list.

He’s definitely more charismatic in “The Clone Wars” and has some very hot moments “Revenge of the Sith.” Plus, he’s an excellent pilot and amazing fighter, so points for that.

6. Captain Howzer

OK, it’s no surprise to anyone that one of Jango Fett’s genetic offspring was going to make the list. Jango Fett is a good-looking man, and Boba probably was too, although we never got to see him without his helmet as an adult pre-Sarlacc Pit.

While there are a lot of good-looking clone troopers, Howzer is by far the hottest. The only reason this sexy motherfucker isn’t higher on this list is because he’s only appeared in two episodes of “The Bad Batch.” But that’s all the time it took for him to win over thirsty Star Wars fans.

The clone trooper armor isn’t the hottest look out there, but the man knows that teal looks good on him and he’s got the best haircut of any of the clones. Plus, he’s loyal to his men and the people he serves, and that’s most definitely hot.

5. Obi-Wan Kenobi

Mhmm, Obi-Wan. He’s definitely the hottest character in the prequel trilogy, especially “The Phantom Menace,” and his “Clone Wars” version carries all of those rugged good looks and confident snark that Ewan McGregor brought to the role. Granted, he does have three movies as a old guy/Force ghost, and while Sir Alec Guinness was good-looking for a senior citizen, Old Ben has definitely lost his hotness by the time “A New Hope” roles around.

However, I think that’ll all be balanced out with the new “Obi-Wan Kenobi” TV show, where McGregor will reprise the role after more than 15 years. The galaxy better have their fire extinguishers ready, because Obi-Wan Kenobi will be smokin’.

4. Poe Dameron

I don’t think I have to explain this, right? Poe Dameron can get it!

He’s an excellent pilot, good fighter, wears a sick leather jacket, and has the cajones to talk smack to multiple First Order leaders. He’s also charismatic and charming as hell. Plus, in “The Rise of Skywalker,” the dude pulls off a scarf with no coat. Only a truly hot man can do that.

Sadly, it’s only his dumbassery that keeps him from being higher on this list.

3. Lando Calrissian

Whether he’s played by Billy Dee Williams or Donald Glover, Lando Calrissian is one sexy man. He’s got charisma, he’s got swagger, he’s got style.

He’s a good fighter, a great pilot, and a capable leader both on a political and a military scale. He also isn’t weighed down by any dumbassery, at least in the original trilogy. (I can’t speak for “Solo: A Star Wars Story,” because I’ve only seen clips.)

But, at least in the OT, Lando went from leading a city to becoming a Rebel general in a matter of months. The man led the attack on the second Death Star, and managed to blast out of a fireball with the Millennium Falcon unscathed. That’s some expert piloting.

There’s nothing more to say: he’s sexy and he knows it.

2. Han Solo

Lando perhaps could’ve beaten out his old buddy, but Han Solo gets far more screen-time in the OT and in “Solo: A Star Wars Story.” When it comes to hotness, Han Solo is practically the galaxy-wide definition of it. While Lando is arguably a more capable leader, Han seems to be a better pilot and fighter.

Also, while Lando has style, Han can make anything — and I mean ANYTHING he wears — look good. Even a parka. Ironically enough, that’s how you know you’ve achieved nuclear standards of hot.

Han Solo also has this signature blend of confidence and dumbassery. And while Anakin’s and Poe’s dumbassery knocked them down a few pegs, Han’s dumbassery is less egregious. Mostly because he’s either following someone else’s dumb plan, or if it’s his own, he manages to escape without getting himself or anyone else hurt.

It’s not “I’m going to impulsively charge this Sith Lord” or “I’m going to launch a coup while we’re running for our lives,” it’s more like “I’m going to bluff these stormtroopers by charging them down this hallway, oh shit, there’s more stormtroopers, RUN AWAY!!”

Even as an old man in “The Force Awakens,” Han Solo was still pretty attractive for his age. While he definitely looked older, his fighting and piloting skills seemed to be as good as ever. He aged like fine wine — the hallmark of a truly hot man.

1. Din Djarin

Din Djarin, AKA “The Mandalorian,” is by far the hottest man in the Star Wars universe. He has it all: indestructible armor, confident-borderline-cocky demeanor, excellent fighting abilities, good piloting skills, and a badass lightsaber.

The man’s only taken his helmet off three times in the first two seasons of “The Mandalorian,” and we didn’t really even need that. His voice is the definition of sexy. Still, he doesn’t even need THAT. Just that scene of him fighting the aliens in “The Book of Boba Fett” Episode 5 was enough to make me and every other person with functioning eyeballs swoon.

The man doesn’t need to talk or remove his helmet to be sexy, and THAT is the definition of hot.

Sorry, Han, but Mando’s better than you at everything, including being a dad!

Oh Snap Burn GIF - Oh Snap Burn Mic Drop - Discover & Share GIFs

Seriously, if a guy can walk around with a weird-looking alien baby in a purse, and STILL look as attractive as he does, then he HAS to be the hottest guy in the galaxy.

Sorry, I don’t make the rules.

Scroll to top